Having problems is not the problem. It's the Creating Your Happy Episode 10 Plus, A Review of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a "F" Book by Mark Manson
Real Life, Self Improvement

CYH Ep. 10 — Problems & the Meanings We Put Behind Them

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CYH Ep. 10 — Problems & the Meanings We Put Behind Them: Plus a review on the book: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life”

Mom… don’t read this.

You know it’s going to be a truth-speaking blog post when I start out with the “Mom, don’t read this” lead off!

I don’t want my mom to read this because it has a cuss word in it. Well… sort of. Let me explain, and then you can totally see why in the video I recorded below too.

You see, I grew up knowing early on in my childhood that saying a bad word would send me straight to my room. So in adulthood, I’ve even shied away from hearing/seeing/saying such bad words.

Let’s take a quick pause and look at this gem of a photo I found while looking for one of me as a little girl to fit in with this blog post. My family KILLED it in this church photo. Yes?! 

Problems & the meanings we put behind them. Jessica Burgess

It’s Titled WHAAAT!?!?

When someone recommended a book to me for the Creating Your Happy book club called, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life” I sort of panicked inside.

I can’t read that! Did you see what word is in the title?! What would the group members think if I recommended a book with such a nasty word in it?!

So I ran away from it.

That was until I quickly fell in love with Mel Robbins (thanks to my husband for saying the infamous words to me the other night):

Babe, you gotta watch this, and follow her.

After watching one of her videos, TOTALLY digging her, and stalking making sure to follow each social media outlet of Mel Robbins, I saw on her Instagram feed that she was reading the forbidden book. I thought:

Gosh dangit. If she recommends it, then I NEED to read this.

I pushed through my child-like behavior, felt a little risky, bought the digital download of the book on Amazon, and started reading it.

24 Hours. I Hate to Read, and I Finished it in 24 Hours. Really.

You guys, I finished this book in 24 hours. 24 HOURS! It is so.freaking.good. No, not “I can’t put it down entertaining” like a romance novel. So freaking good because it’s TRUTH. It’s direct, and it’s what I’ve been learning in therapy and peeling away at for months.

Peeling away at things like how I think, and why I am who I am, and why I do what I do.

I was so engaged in this book this morning that I was compelled to do a Creating Your Happy video on it. (Although my appearance sure didn’t look like someone who should be hitting the “record” button on my iphone camera!)

Don’t Do What I Did

Friends, I let the title scare me for almost a year. Resisting reading a book titled something so naughty. I’d say to myself:

Why would the author (Mark Manson) seriously think that he had to put a cuss word in the title? Couldn’t he have said “freaking,” instead. Come on.

But you know what? There’s even some beauty behind this simple tidbit. Now, today, I’m recommending a book titled something that you all could see as incredibly inappropriate, and think I’m some horrible person now. But I’m still talking about it because I don’t care. I’m still sharing and recommending this book. Friends, I’ve taken a step to overcome a fear of what people think about me by doing it anyway.(Okay, except my mom. I’ll work on that.)

But that’s just a small little win. I can’t even BEGIN to tell you what hit home when reading this book. Something I’ve been struggling with for WEEKS has eaten me alive. I’ve focused on how awful this person has “been to me” and how uncaring this person has been. When really, I’ve taken this problem and put a meaning on it that makes absolutely no logical sense, and I have wasted so much time/energy focusing on something that I could have controlled long ago.

Mark Manson has a way of speaking truth and helping us define the fact that we have control and we are able to make the choice of how we deal with each and every problem in our life. Stop letting others control how you feel. Stop letting emotions overtake your behavior.

Having Problems Isn’t the Problem…

I knew when my therapist told me a couple of weeks ago (that I talked to you about on Facebook LIVE)…

Jessica, having problems isn’t the problem. It’s how you deal with the problem, is the problem.

That was something I was going to hold on to forever. I just had no CLUE that I’d be reading an entire book that touched on that very same thing, making even more clear to me the truth behind how we deal with everyday problems in our lives.

I couldn’t WAIT to get on my phone and record this chat with the Creating Your Happy group today, and I couldn’t stop there. I wanted to share it here on the blog for those of you that may not be in the group yet, and would benefit from hearing about this too!

Creating Your Happy Episode 10

To buy the book on Amazon, you can snag it HERE!

To join the Creating Your Happy Facebook group, you can do that HERE!

But, so you don’t miss any videos in the Creating Your Happy series, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel here:

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Until next time,

Problems & the meanings we put behind them. Having problems isn't the problem. It's how you deal with the problem, that's the problem. Plus a review of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck" Book by Mark Manson

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