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Dear New Mom of 2…

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I was exhausted.  Some days I’m still exhausted. Being a new mom of 2, can definitely make you want to hide in the panty some days and cry your eyeballs out. (Insert my memory of the Sex and the City 2 movie, where Charlotte goes in the pantry and cries for just a moment, because her kiddos are stressing her out.)

Dear New Mom of Two…

Dear New Mom of 2

The Ages:

I’ll begin by saying that my two boys are 2 1/2 years apart. Moms with kids that have a bigger age gap may be completely different. If so… I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Mom’s that stay at home with their kids, and Mom’s that work outside of the home may also be different from one another. Me? I’m a mix of both. I stay at home, and work outside of the office at times. So it may vary for each person.

Living with one child wasn’t a cake walk. If you say your kid is perfect… that’s fantastic. (But I highly doubt that Jesus has to share the spotlight on that one. But being a new mom of two, whew. My life has officially changed. Would I trade for anything? HECK no. I love my kids, would die for them. But my day to day has changed. My looks have changed. My attitude has changed.

So to a mom who may be thinking about having her second, or a mom that has had her second, third, fourth, whatever… here’s my letter to you.

An honest letter to you:

Dear New Mom of Two,

Yes, you are normal to feel like your body hasn’t gone back to the way it did after you had your first child. Yep, add that under eye cream to your shopping list, because it’s normal to be, and look completely “baggy eyed,” until your baby starts sleeping through the night. You betcha it’s normal for your toddler to look at your belly and grab the baby belly fat, and squish it between their little fingers.

Hey you, Mom of dos kiddos… yes it’s common to watch your second little bambino pick a strange something up off of the floor, stick it in their mouth and wait just a split second to see if they spit it out, before you make it over to them to take it out. (Because frankly, you’re just too exhausted to get up and grab it at the moment, unlike when your first was born when you dropped everything to see what the movement in their mouth was, only to find it was just their tongue shifting.)  Yep, that’s normal… go ahead… put the baby bottles in the dishwasher. I know you washed the baby bottles by hand the first time around, but that dishwasher will give you an extra 5 minutes to do something else.

Yep, check off of your list that it’s normal to forget the last time you updated your second kiddos baby book. Yeppers, new mom of two, you may just get cabin fever for the first few months, because even THINKING about taking both kids out of the house by yourself sounds like a panic attack waiting to happen.

Hey new mom of two, yes it’s normal to think in the middle of the night when you’re exhausted, “I love my babies so much, but I’m done with this havin’ more kids thing. Not sleeping is for the birds.” Yes it’s common to have the moments of sneaking in to a room by your self, or turning your head to shed a tear of stress relief, just for a moment so your oldest doesn’t see how stressed you are.

But guess what, new mom of two:

Guess what else is normal? The ever so amazing feeling of getting kisses and hugs from TWO of your kiddos. The sweet realization that there’s no need to stress about certain items with having a new baby, so you embrace those moments of snuggle time just a little bit more than you may have with your first.

The bags under your eyes start to fade. (Yep, it may be because of that night cream, but it gets better.)  The belly pooch may never go away, but you begin to think to yourself, “TWO, little miracles came out of that, and all of a sudden it makes it all worth it.”

Oh, and guess what else is normal “Mom of Two?” To feel sweet relief when the two of your children start playing together, and give you a split second of free time to catch up on those dirty dishes. Or how about when you’re overcome with joy when your youngest grins and chuckles at your oldest for the first time.

And new mom of two… Remember that God trusted and loved you enough to give you a second baby, after seeing how amazingly awesome you were with your first child.

If you’re reading this today, stressed out with being a new mom of two, remember that you are BLESSED beyond measure to have two babies, when there are women out there all over the world, praying for just a chance at having one. Love and hug on those TWO babies of yours tonight and thank God that those precious little miracles are healthy enough to be wild enough to make you feel crazy at times. But it’s a-ok to feel tired, stressed, and completely worn out. Don’t feel guilty ONE bit. 

New mom of Three?

Now, to a new mom of THREE? I dunno. I’m not there. (Yet at least.)  I thought I was done at two, but I may have just convinced myself by reading my own post that three may not be such a crazy idea. 😉

Until next time…

Jessica Burgess, Fantabulosity Blog

 

Can you relate? Then you just may love some of my other posts,

15 Things I’ve Learned Being a Mom

&

Things I Wish I Didn’t Have to Tell my Toddler

 

16 thoughts on “Dear New Mom of 2…

  1. Zan says:

    Great post Jessica. I am a mom of two – 2 years apart. My 3 year old turns 4 at the end of the year….And my 19 month old turns 2. I am glad I am not the only one out there who feel the same. You are correct, God cared enough to give me a second even though I did not think I did well with the first. But I guess God had other plans. Thank you so much for the reminder!

  2. Petrece says:

    I am feeling drained. I have a 1yr 9mnth old and 6mnth old, i think i need some vitamins, i am overwhelmed on how to efficiently run my home. I am about to start my 1yr 9mnths old at preschool while my 6mnth old is at nursery. It great to see that i am not the only one going through these rough times but i need help , some feedback would be nice.

    1. Jessica says:

      Oh Petrece,
      I am COMPLETELY understanding what you are going through. At times I felt like there wasn’t enough coffee in the world to help me make it through the day. Vitamins are always good. Are you sleeping good at night, when the kiddos aren’t up? I still struggle when one of my kids wake me up… I have a hard time going back to sleep. {So I’ll lay there and play on my phone, and stay up for hours.} I’ve found that drinking “bedtime,” tea before bed has REALLY helped me sleep heavily, and get a better night sleep.
      I’ve also at times (when really exhausted), just forced myself to sit down and rest a bit, when the kiddos are playing nearby. Resting my body for at least 10 minutes helps give me a little boost.
      I also can’t stress how much lemon water has helped me. When I get up in the morning, I always try to make a glass of ice water, and add a slice of lemon to it. You wouldn’t believe how refreshed and energized it makes me feel.
      If possible at all, make sure you make “you,” time. I know that’s hard, but if you could at least get a small amount of time to yourself to “recharge,”… that has made a huge difference for me. It’s great for the kiddos and great for you too. Sounds like you may be able to have that when your two start going to preschool and the nursery. 🙂
      So glad you found this helpful, and that you know you’re not alone.
      Feel free to ask any questions! I’d love to be able to help! 🙂

  3. Amy says:

    Wow! I don’t think you have any idea how powerful this post is! I really needed this. My boys are exactly two and a half years apart with the baby being just 2 months old. It’s rough for sure…not finding that balance of how to care for everyone equally is a real challenge. But…it won’t be like this for long lol. Thank you for letting this stressed out tired mom of two boys that she isn’t alone 🙂

    1. Jessica says:

      Awww I am so glad to hear that. (Well.. not that you’re stressed and tired) 🙂 But so glad that you found this post, at just the right time. Whew… I remember my second being 2 months old, just like yesterday. I know exactly how you feel. You may even look back at this time in your life later and go, “I don’t even remember what was going on then. It was such a blur.” I’m sure doing that right now. Thank you so much for coming by and dropping a note. I love hearing from you!

  4. Ali Gilbert says:

    Getting ready to do this in one month. Heaven help me! 🙂

    1. Jessica says:

      Eeeeeeek! I’m so happy for you, and you’ll be great!! It’s indescribable. 🙂

  5. Autumn says:

    2 was definitely a lot different than 1. I agree with your letter completely. I have 3 and 3 is a whole new level of crazy!!!! I wouldn’t change it for anything but WOW! I don’t think I have ever been so exhausted in my life. But it is totally worth every minute! 🙂

    1. Jessica says:

      Totally! OMG… 3!? I’m still no 100% sure about that one. I know what you mean though… you wouldn’t trade it for anything, but WHEW, it’s exhausting! Lol! Thank you so much for coming by, and dropping a sweet note! I love that! XO!

  6. Autumn says:

    Number 3 was not planned. We had 2 boys and everyone kept asking if we were going to try for a girl. 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant we decided that we were done. (I had made an appointment for my husband to go in to the Dr.) :/ The funny thing is #3’s birthday ended up being on April Fool’s Day! It’s great!

    1. Jessica says:

      Noooo way! Oh my gosh!!! I hear of that happening so much!! Haha! So sweet!!!

      1. Autumn says:

        Totally worth it! Even though we didn’t have it planned. SURPRISE!

  7. Vanessa says:

    I love this post, so hilarious and true!
    My kiddos are 11 years apart, not by choice but Gods plan. I thought those that have kiddos closer in age had it easy, it’s just nice to know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I now have a 3 year old with sleep apnea so I still lack sleep. I was told by a mentor mom 14 year old boys are much like having a kindergartener all over again, SO TRUE. So now knowing it’s not just me or my kids, I am going to try to embrace them more for who they are, they are a blessing!

    1. Jessica says:

      Oh my goodness!!! What a fun story… oh and heck no, you’re not alone! Lol! No matter how big of an age gap there is! 😉 Thank you so much for coming by and dropping a note! I love hearing them! XO

  8. Taylor Fischer says:

    Totally needed this today! Mine are born 15 months apart and I am a work from home mom. There are days when I don’t think ill make it to dinner time but I know i’m not alone.

    1. Jessica says:

      Oh good!! I’m so happy to hear that. No, you’re so not alone. That feeling is with me literally almost every day. That’s why I feel sometimes that “they grow up so fast,” because we are so exhausted… that we don’t remember a lot of it. 🙂

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