I’m getting COMPLETELY personal with you today. But I’ve struggled for so long wanting to share our story with you, because it means so much to me.
I told you back in June, during my post “An Afternoon of Bonding,” that I would share with you one day how my husband and I were told that we would more than likely not be able to have children.
Today is that day.
My husband and I had been dating for 10 years, and we finally tied the knot in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It was absolutely the best way we could have gotten married. Our close family and friends came to join us, and even though the wedding lasted about 20 minutes…. the celebration lasted for days! {of course, more on that later too, if ya want.}
The Wedding
The Bad News
It was a routine checkup, and a brief mention to my doctor,
You know, my husband and I have been trying for about a year to have a baby, and no luck.
After a couple of additional appointments and time, learning that I had endometriosis…the doctor told me that I would more than likely have a really hard time, conceiving a baby, and to be prepared that it would more than likely not even happen.
I was devastated.
I’ll never forget going home that afternoon, crying in my husbands arms. All of my friends were having babies. Why couldn’t we?
Another year went by, charting… calendaring, counting, taking my temperature, taking ovulation tests, and nothing. Nothing was working.
We’re Done Trying
One Sunday morning, my husband and I made the routine trip to church, but I had no idea what we were about to see, and decide for our family.
We sat behind a sweet couple that just adopted a baby boy through foster care, who had come from a home where he was physically abused. Bruises & broken bones, at the early age of 6 months.
But now… that little boy had sweet parents. Parents that would love and cherish him. Parents that would try to make sure nothing harmful every happened to him again.
God spoke to both my husband and I that morning. We got in the car to leave, and we looked at each and as if it were a subject we had been thinking over for years… we both said,
“Let’s adopt.”
That next morning, I went in to our office, made some phone calls, filled out paperwork, and began our adoption journey.
What?!
The next week, we were faced with the devastating news of my husband’s father, which I mentioned earlier in how we spoiled dad on Father’s Day.
In our last days with my father-in-law, I began to feel “weird.” Thinking it was the stress of the news, I ignored it for a few days. Then… the feelings were more than “weird,” and I decided to do something about it. Besides, I had an extra pregnancy test laying around from the bulk packages I had bought over the last two years, so why not.
It was positive.
What?!
Yes, we were going to have a baby.
I couldn’t wait to share the news with my hubby, so I immediately prepared his “We’re Having a Baby,” gift that I had created in my head for years.
Lucky lucky us… we were able to share the news with his father before he passed. The look of delight and excitement on his face was absolutely priceless and unforgettable.
He’s here… They’re here
We did it. God absolutely blessed us with two incredible boys. It just goes to show you that God can do anything.
Our Birth Story
{I cry every time I watch this. Such an incredible moment, and miracle.}
Birth Story Credit: Picture Perfect by Roseanna
Our Second
{We do also have a video birth story of our second, but I just couldn’t resist posting these photos of the second little miracle to enter our lives, for those of you who may not be able to watch a video now.}
Photo Credits: A.G. Photography
We aren’t the only couple I have heard of that “stopped,” trying, and ended up expecting. It’s amazing how that works isn’t it?
If only I’d leave everything up to God, instead of trying to do it myself… I’m sure, I’d be more even more blessed than I could ever imagine. I’m so thankful I’ve finally been able to share our story with you.
I’d LOVE to hear your story. Did you go through something similar? Are you going through something like this? Do you know someone having a hard time with this right now?
Tell me in the comments below…
Melissa Brown says
Well my story to motherhood was far from normal. As you know I was married before. We had been trying to get pregnant for some time with no luck. I had a procedure done to check my tubes to see if there was any blockage. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Before leaving this procedure the specialist told us the next three months would be an ideal time to conceive. We continued trying. At my follow up I was told I would more than likely not be able to get pregnant without help (IUI or IVF). The doctor did not check me at this appointment. A few weeks later I wasn’t feeling well. Took a test knowing it would be negative. WRONG! At size weeks I found out I was pregnant. At 12 weeks I miscarried. This was the first week in June. The last week of July my husband was killed and we were suppose to start fertility drugs in August.
Fast forward two years and I met my husband I’m married to now. I had exploratory surgery and found out I had stage 4 endometriosis. I had 4 major surgeries to remove it and 3 rounds IVF treatments. At this point I was done and had decided if this didn’t work we’d look into adoption. Two days before finding out treatment 3 didn’t work I got a phone call at work from a friend. There was a woman who had given birth who didn’t want the baby and my friend had overheard me talking about adoption with another friend. I was the first person she called. I hung up on her thinking she was joking. Needless to say she called back and screamed at me not to hang up on her again and to get to the hospital. My little boy was born July 9th, I met him July 10th and brought him home July 11th. I found out two days later my 3rd treatment had failed. However, God did not fail he just had other plans. I am forever grateful that God chose me to be this little boys mom.
Jessica says
Ahh!!! Melissa, you are such an incredible person and have such a remarkable story. I am SO SO sorry for all of the trouble you have gone through. You truly are one of the strongest people I know and I absolutely love your outlook on God’s plan. Thank you so much for sharing this sweet lady!
Rachel Hardt says
Jessica,
I read this post for the first time today and I want to thank you for posting it!
My husband and I have been trying for 1.5 years with no luck and I’ve been told the reason is a hormone imbalance and a low thyroid level. I am currently on several supplements and herbs to help get my hormones to where hey should be. Your post gives me hope that one day we can have babies of our own.
Thank you!
Jessica says
Awww, I’m so glad that you happened across this post. Thank you so much for letting me know, and sharing your story! I’m tickled that you found hope from this too. That, my friend, is what it’s all about! XO
Illia says
I’m turning 30 in january. I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 16 and was told that I could never have kids I was crushed I have always dreamed of a big family. I switched doctors when mine told me that I should have a hysterectomy. I went through 7 doctors in 10 years I have been at a 8 pain level every day since I was 16. I get it the doctors, family, friends didn’t want me to be in any more pain but I couldn’t give up one the 1 thing I always knew I was ment to be a mom! Everytime a doctor brought up hysterectomy I would switch if they didn’t believe then I world find someone that would.
Spring-Summer of 2013 I was in the middls of going through menopause because of a shot (lupron depo) the last quack of a doctor put me on it was hell! I was supposed to get 6 rounds of shots I only did 3 because I couldn’t take the side effects and had an appointment for a new doctor end of September. July of 2013 my boyfriend went blind (another story but he has most of his vision back) lost his job and I was feeling very defeated then I started feeling woozy everyday thought it was just my reaction to the meds getting out of my system but a few weeks went by and I knew so September 14th 2013 4:30am I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! Holy crap! I ran into the bedroom woke up my boyfriend and told him HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUR GOING TO BE A DAD! I had an amazing pregnancy and I had a beautiful baby boy May 7th 2014.
We are now trying for number 2 but I just got diagnosed with polycystic overy syndrome and have been told that is not going to be easy Story of my life I’m not giving up any time soon!
Jessica says
Oh.My.GOODNESS! What a story!! I’m so sorry for all of your discomforts through all of that! But you know what… it just confirms my beliefs in that if God wants that baby here, he will find a way! I <3 that. Good luck with a second pregnancy!!! And thank you so much for sharing your story!
Tonya says
Thank you for sharing your story. It is hard to share this because it is so personal but it can be an inspiration to so many others.
My husband and I have one child who’s 11. We wanted one more and our son has asked and begged for a brother or sister because when we’re gone, he doesn’t want to be alone. 6 years ago we decided it was time to try.
I’ve gone through the temp taking, ovulation tests, countless pregnancy tests and about 72 months of getting our hopes up. I’ve been to 3 different doctors, (none were infertility specialists) have had a few tests, 2 years of trying Clomid for several months at a time and even a surgery. Still no luck. It broke me mentally, physically, and emotionally. My heart broke each time my son asked when he was getting his brother or sister. I got mad each time I passed a women who was pregnant or each women who had a new born child (I know, how silly does that sound but it’s true). More so, I got mad when I would see a mother, who in my opinion, wasn’t deserving. (This is the hardest for me to admit since I have NO room to decide who’s deserving and who’s not.) I’m a preschool teacher and it affected me to the point where I didn’t want to take care of other peoples children if I couldn’t have a second.
I knew there was something more. Something wasn’t right. After having the surgery, the doctor I seen (whose name I won’t disclose here) barely took the time to tell me the results. Honestly, he was in the room for less than 5 minutes with his hand on the door the entire time. I had to stop him twice with a question. His news though, one of my tubes was blocked and he pushed it open, and continue with the clomid. Beside the way he treated me as a hopeless patient, my hopes were again strengthed because I thought, “NOW, we have a chance. God is good.”
For two months after the surgery, I continued with the clomid. Nothing. I just knew it was something more. I told my husband with a shaky voice, I’m not trying anymore. So many, and I do mean so many, people have said “stop trying, it will happen.” I thought, “ok, if nothing else worked, maybe this will.” I didn’t want to just give up. During this time I checked in to IVF and adoption. IVF can cost about $12,000+ and adoption was $25,000+ for an infant. I was shocked. Why would it cost so much when you have to go broke to raise a child? Lol
Someone told me about another doctor who has had patients try a different medication that works for those who clomid did not work for. I only heard wonderful things about this doctor. Kind, caring, and patient. I wanted to at least talk with him. I just had an appt Thursday and I took my pictures from my surgery just in case he wanted to see them.
I sat down and waited with anticipation spilling over. He came in, greeted me and sat down. He asked my background and I gave him the pictures. Within his first look he gave me some devastating news, “tubal infertility”. Both my tubes are not able to function and that my only hope was IVF. It’s weird of me to say this but calm went through my body. Stress was lifted from my shoulders. I had an answer. It wasn’t the answer I was looking for but one I thought was right all along. Something more than, “just keep trying, it’ll happen,” or “when you quit trying, it’ll happen.”
You see, I begged God for a child for the first almost 5 years of this journey. I screamed at him countless times and cried when the negative would show up on the test or my period would start. I thought, my faith is the problem. He doesn’t think I deserve another child. I need to start thanking him for providing for me, for sending me my first child, for loving me through all my years of sinning and mistakes. I needed to focus on strengthening my first child and my blessing will come when the Lord sees it’s time. I let go and let God.
Even though my blessing hasn’t been sent to me yet, if it’s in God’s will there is a way. Whatever route I take, God will see me through. For now, I will focus on my first. Love him, raise him and thank God everyday for my one miracle.
So again, thank you for sharing your story. It will inspire others.
Jessica says
I’m speechless. Thank you so much… really… so much for sharing this story. You’re right. It can be an inspiration out there to someone we don’t even know. It was an inspiration to me, for life in general. You’re such a strong woman. Thank you, thank you. 🙂
Tonya says
I enjoy reading each one of your posts. Even if my son is too old for some of them, I enjoy your words. This post though really hit home. Thanks for your courage to share and for giving me somewhere to post my story. ☺️
Allison says
I have been diagnosed with PCOS. While I haven’t been told that I can’t have babies, I have been told that it will be difficult. We have just begun our journey of trying and I am just trusting God’s perfect timing. Thanks for sharing your story! Sweet babies!
Jessica says
I’m so sorry. I know EXACTLY the feeling that you must be feeling. You are right, trusting in God’s perfect timing is exactly what he wants from us… with everything. Thank you so much for sharing your story too!
Kelly says
Thank you for sharing your story with us. The video had me in tears. An amazing story.
Jessica says
Aw, thank you so much! I’m so glad that you came over to read it! 🙂 XO