Self worth - the struggles
Real Life, Self Improvement

Photos on Social Media Are Not Windows, So Stop Treating Them Like They Are

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Photos Are Not Windows, So Stop Treating Them Like They Are. – A peek into how we as women can let the image of other women, rip our self-worth apart in a matter of seconds.

Life isn't perfect, so let's embrace it and stop trying to achieve that look

This Photo Isn’t What You Think

See that girl? Boy, she must have it all together huh? Beautiful scenery, cute shorts, big smile.

Man… if only my life looked like hers.

Wait a minute. That’s me up there in that photo.

Sure, the photo is great (thanks to a fantastic photographer friend), but there’s so much more behind this “perfect” photo you’re looking at.

The Reality?

The girl in this photo is tired.

She’s stressed out.

Her world was flipped upside down on a specific day in 2017, that then continued to turn even more upside down (if that’s even possible) every day after that for the next few months, and even in to present day.

This girl? She hid when the doorbell rang for months because she didn’t want to face anyone. (Even if there was a Target box being delivered, haha!)

That girl up there (wait, I’m 35 now… and I’m not sure “girl” really fits this story, so we’ll go with “gal” to sound a little less pre-teen) she worries at least once an hour about the safety of her boys, especially since one of them has epilepsy and could have a seizure at any minute, ESPECIALLY when home life is a stressful environment.

Oh… and the gal in that photo up there? I don’t even know if she was eating anything really each day, except for random pieces of bread and chips that she found in the pantry while she just tried to make it through the day.

Why We Need to Remember that Photos are Just Photos.

Photos are flat, surface level items.

So why do we treat them as windows that we can look through, to see imaginary things and stories that we make up in our own heads.

“She has it all.”

“I wish my life could be more like hers.”

“Must be nice to have a rockstar marriage and well behaved kids.”

“If only I could get my life together to be more organized, maybe I’d have more time to get “perfect”.”

If only we’d look at photos online and take them for what they really are… photos… and not a deeper meaning of a story that we make up in our heads about what life “could” be like, we’d gain a different perception of our own lives and maybe… just maybe… experience a mind shift that could change our day to day, and even, lives.

It’s Not Just the Photos…

Taking it a step further, and seeing how we even tell ourselves that “she” has it all together when we run in to her at Walmart, Starbucks or the school pick-up line.

We still, only see the surface level. Although not just a photo any longer, she’s still someone that we’re just looking at.

Maybe her marriage is really on the rocks so that kissing and hand-holding she’s got going on with him while they’re standing in line is something their therapist told them to do, every chance that they got.

Maybe she was fired from her corporate job yesterday and she’s still dressing in a suit and standing in the Starbucks line that morning, just trying to keep things “normal” so she doesn’t have to face telling her family.

Or maybe you see her laughing and smiling while talking on the phone in the school pickup line, because she’s finally getting the chance to talk to her best friend who is the only person that can pick her back up after being at her lowest.

Why oh why do we tell ourselves something is more than what we actually see?

Is it because it gives us hope that things will and can get better?

Or is it because we really are so hard on ourselves that it’s human nature to want what we don’t have, and then tell ourselves that we’ll probably never get it.

Friend, I’m writing all of this out… which is again, another moment where I feel God telling me to go hide in my room for a minute, away from the little boys and Captain Underpants on the tv, and get to typing. I have no idea why… or if anything that I say even makes sense… but I’m here to tell you today:

Sister, I know you’re tired.

I know it feels like you’re never going to get what “she” has, whether that’s in business, in a marriage, as a mother, as a gal.

As I get older, it’s amazing to me how much more aware I am to realizing that we all go through something like this in our lives. It may not be a feeling we experience every day, every week or even every month.

But we all struggle with this at some point in our lives, and I think it’s important to help remind each other that it’s normal and that what we’re thinking may not be reality. So we need to stop creating damage to our self-worth.

Where is this all coming from?

I don’t know. Well, yes I do. God works through my fingertips sometimes and I just quietly sit down in front of my computer and get to typing. (Kind of like this GIF of the cat typing super fast on a computer… have you seen this? It’s pretty hysterical.)



Anyway, I know it’s God when I get to the end of a blog post like this, and I have no idea what I actually wrote. For real. I’m actually sitting here right now wanting to scroll up to see what I wrote because I can’t even recall what’s up there.

But time and time again when this happens, I get messages, comments and “thank you’s” like “This was for me today,” and “You have no idea how much this helps”.

So I promise I’m not patting myself on the back… I’m just giving God the glory, and I hope this helps even just one of you.

Can You Help Me?

So I have HUGE passion for helping other women. Whether that’s in business, in life, or with self-worth. But I struggle at times trying to figure out what that looks like.
I would love to create a an online workshop (or relative) to encourage and inspire you and I’d love to know what you’d love to learn.

  • Is it self-confidence?
  • Finding a passion?
  • More “Me-Time” Strategies

What is it that you’d love to know more about? I’m all ears and ready to grab ahold of it and see how I can help.


I so hope this helped you in some way today… whoever you are. I’ll be sure to read it myself too when I’m feeling stuck, and looking for a pick-me up to know I’m not alone. Remember, there may be more to the story than what we see in that photo.

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop a note in the comments or email me at

More to My Story?

So is there more to my story about why that girl up there at the top of this blog post was such a hot mess? You bet. So stay tuned…

Creating Your Happy Facebook Group

If you’ve found yourself resonating with this post, then you’ll LOVE our Creating Your Happy Facebook group. Totally free to join, and it’s a place where dive in deep into topics like this and encourage each other to find that true happiness we all long for.


6 thoughts on “Photos on Social Media Are Not Windows, So Stop Treating Them Like They Are

  1. Lisa says:

    I love this so much. Thank you for writing and sharing your heart so genuinely. We all need more reality reminders.


    1. Jessica says:

      Oh how I’m so happy to see your comment, Lisa. Thank you so much for dropping a note! XO

  2. Jamie says:

    Thanks so much for this post. It was a nice reminder that people are not perfect, even when we think others are. I have been going through a rough patch health wise so this was so nice to hear. Thanks again for the great post.
    Blessings to you and yours!!!

    1. Jessica says:

      Thank you SO much for sharing Jamie. I’m so sorry you’re going through rough times right now. It’s so hard when we don’t feel good, or we’ve been given a diagnosis that we can’t control and fix on our own.
      I’m so glad that you found some comfort in this, and I’m praying right now for healing and peace for you. XO

  3. Fridah says:

    Thanks for this post Jessica. It reminded me of what Fawn Weaver said about watering your own grass. Very lovely encouragement. God bless you.

    Wrt the workshop, please do something on Finding your passion and more me-time strategies.

    Thank you!

    1. Jessica says:

      Thank you SO much for this!! I have so many ideas that I want to do for this, but often get stuck in the “but will anyone want it” mindset, and hearing things like this helps me push forward so much! Thank you!!!

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