Can I be honest? I’m exhausted.
I wish I looked as refreshed right now, as I do in this photo, but that’s FAR from true. I need a shower, I need a full nights sleep, and I’d LOVE for my little guy to be healthy.
For the last month, my husband and I have had many sleepless nights, taking turns being on “seizure watch” so we don’t miss one, and so we can be there for our son when he’s going through it.
I’m struggling with thoughts of,
“It’s not fair.”
but I’m also contradicting those with thoughts of,
“I’m so thankful because it could be worse.”
“At least we know what to do when he has one.”
You take this and add it on top of our last two years of nightmares, and it’s almost unbelievable or could even give a storyline for a movie a run for its money.
My husband said to me the other day,
“Jessica, one day, we’ll look back at this time and wonder how we ever survived.”
To which I replied,
“Honey, I’m not sure how we’re surviving now.”
Do you ever wonder why God allows things to happen to us?
I’ve read and read, and I’ve found scripture and encouraging words from:
- He’s preparing you for a new season
- He won’t let this go to waste
- and so much more.
But for a “fixer” like me, it’s so hard to sit back and wait for God to make the next move… perhaps that’s what he’s waiting on.
For me to hand it all over to Him.
So today, right now, I hand it all over to God… to have Him step in and do better than I could ever imagine.
Are you a “fixer” too? If you’re struggling today, please know you’re not alone. Your story may look different than someone else’s, but it’s your story, and it hurts just the same.
Perhaps turning it over to Him may be the next right step.