Finding Your Purpose in Life – Have you ever felt like something is “missing” in life, even if you feel like you shouldn’t? The guilt of feeling like something is missing, yet having so much to be thankful for, is a real struggle with so many women!
I love today’s topic so much. As women, sometimes we feel like there has to be “more,” but we have a mental conflict of guilt. You may find yourself saying…
“Why should there be more? I have a great marriage, wonderful kids, and a great life. But why do I feel like something is missing?”
For some, they may say
“I want more children to take care of and love on. That’s my purpose. “
“I’m the CEO of corporate America, helping provide jobs for others and making a difference in the world.”
Or you may find yourself confused and stuck, like today’s reader that I’m getting ready to share with you:
“I feel at a loss and without much of a purpose throughout the day … Don’t get me wrong I love being a stay at home wife, it has been one of my dreams since I was little.”
Well let’s explore this a bit more, shall we?
Finding Your Purpose in Life
I had someone reach out to me on Fantabulosity’s Facebook page the other day, (Have I told you how much I LOVE getting messages from you all!? It literally lights me up.) sharing her story and asking if I could help. So I sat my butt down on the couch, grabbed my coffee and got all warm and cozy, and ready to help this gal figure something out! Here’s what she said:
Hey Jessica, I accidentally discovered your blog, and fell in love with it and you almost instantly. I read some of your posts and the watched some of your videos, and you’ve inspired me to follow my passions! But I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.
I’m newly married, barely 3 months. My husband works for an oil field, and is gone a lot. I’m not working outside of the home, and so I’m home a lot. I live basically in the middle of no where lol.
Don’t get me wrong I love being a stay at home wife, it has been one of my dreams since I was little. Before the wedding, I had been working almost continuously since my 2nd year of high school therefore I had no time for what I was truly passionate about.
Now I have the time, but I’m also struggling with the thought, I’m not doing enough, if that makes sense. I’ve been thinking about starting a blog, as soon as we get internet installed in our house.
Despite having the time to do all the things I love to do, I feel at a loss and without much of a purpose throughout the day, until my husband comes home late at night…I hope I’m making some sense. Anyways I was wondering if maybe you had some pointers or thoughts on the situation…I guess I’m just feeling very stuck. I’m willing to hear whatever you want to throw at me! Thank you for your time!
So Relatable Right?
Hallelujah we’re not alone in the feeling this way…
Oh how there’s so much goodness in the message that she sent. Do I have the all of the answers? Absolutely not. But I do love how I’m given the opportunity to help someone brainstorm and possibly find something that will help improve their life in some way.
THIS… this is the reason why I love to blog so much. It has given me a platform to have a million “girlfriends” to sit and chat about different ways to better ourselves and find out what our passions in life are… and I get to share things like this with all of you, in hopes it helps you too!
Ok ok, so let’s get on to my response to her message.
I’ve Been There and Here’s What I Told Her:
Hi there! First, I’m SO happy that you found your way “here” and second, I’m so happy that you’ve messaged me about this!
I feel honored that you took the time to write me, and share your story with me about this.
Now, it TOTALLY makes sense, and I get where you’re coming from 100%. I was you.
I got married, and since we live in a small town, I suddenly became “Matt’s Wife.” I was good with that. He was a good man, I wanted to be a supportive wife, and I truly thought that I would be “ok” with being in his shadow for the rest of my life. Until I wasn’t.
But it wasn’t like I woke up one day and said “Hmm. I don’t have a purpose.” But it was a slow, unconscious realization over a period of time that I started to feel like I wanted something of my own. (Especially after having my babies.)
I think a lot of women go through this very thing, and we even start to feel guilty about it at times. Like “Why should I need more? I have a man that I love, children to raise and take care of, a home to live in and maintain, etc. etc.”
But I truly believe that each of us need that “something” in life that makes us feel alive and makes us feel like we have a purpose. Something that makes us get excited to hop out of bed in the morning. Something that we’re proud of to talk about with friends, family and STRANGERS!
I believe that every time we talk about something that we love, we get a boost of confidence, which does wonders for our mental health.
So… with that said, I hope by reading that, you know you’re not alone, and I hope you don’t feel guilty for feeling that there could be “more” or something out there that can give you the feeling of purpose.
We can be loving, supportive and wonderful wives AND still have something else in our lives that gives us the feeling of purpose/happiness.
So what is that for you? Could it be a blog? You bet! Could it be running a small Etsy business, selling things that you make at home? Sure!
Could it be buying books at yard sales and selling them on eBay?
Taking a photography class?
Or things that you can even do living in the middle of nowhere…
(without internet) painting, gardening (flower gardens or a veggie garden), tutoring young girls and become someone that they can trust and confide in during this crazy time that we live in, or even helping out at church, decorating for each weekend service!
Now those are all just random thoughts that I had… with some that could possibly turn in to a business, and some that are completely voluntary, but could also help you feel like you have a purpose in life.
You may find that you do a few things that you’d think you’d like, and not like doing any of them. I did this. I volunteered at certain events, tried shopping/reselling items on eBay to help contribute financially, etc. and they just weren’t for me.
But then I found the one thing that was for me, BLOGGING/helping others in different areas in life, and that was it. It was my passion and my purpose.
But it’s all about working through and finding what it is for YOU, that you were born to do. Sometimes it takes a little trial and error to figure out what that is, but you know what… it’s part of the journey.
I hope that helps, and feel free to kick any ideas my way. I’d love to help if I can!! It’s fun to brainstorm and help others find a direction in life! XOXO
Normally for a blog post, I edit and make it as pretty as I can… but I decided to skip that part this time. Why? Because I wanted the realness to overflow from our Facebook messenger, over to you. Sometimes if we focus on the “pretty” and “correct” it can really take away from the message. So excuse typo’s and run-on sentences in this one please!
I’ve received so many messages like this one, and if you can relate to her, I really hope that you find some inspiration, and encouragement to tackle whatever it is that is calling you, after taking a peek in to my Facebook inbox.
Not Sure What Your Purpose Is Yet?
I’d LOVE to hear from you! Feel free to drop a note in the comments below, email me (email@example.com) shoot me a message on Facebook, or join our Creating Your Happy group, where we discuss things like this very thing! I’d love to brainstorm with you and give you the opportunity to pick the brains of a lot of others who are in the same boat you are!
Thank you so much for coming by! If you’d like to hang around a bit, head over to my self work archives to find more content like this, or watch a few of the videos where I discuss important topics on how to find more happiness in your life!