WHEW! There are some brutal people out there! Ever since I published this post, it has gone crazy viral and some of you are NOT afraid to speak your mind. So I feel I must explain my intentions with this post, to explain where I’m coming from.
My husband is very good to me, and does extremely nice things for me. So in return, and out of respect, I like to do nice things for him.
Have you ever heard someone say,
Be the wife your husband can’t wait to come home to at night?
No? Yes? I’ve heard it a million times, and I always try to keep advice in my head. As I would hope my husband would think the visa versa. Right?
So I began to think,
What are some things that he would love, to really make him feel special?
and this post was born.
No people, I’m not saying rewind 60 years and be a Stepford Wife. I’m just saying what I like to do for my husband to show my appreciation, and I would very well expect respect in return. Right?
So let’s carry on with this post, and maybe all of the bullies will stop “hating,” on this post. If not… sorry. This is something that works well in my marriage, and I hope it can give someone else great ideas too! If not, I’d LOVE to hear what works in your marriage. Every marriage is different.
You May Also Love This Marriage Talk:
- 29 Tips on How to Be a Good Wife
- How to Respect Your Husband
- What to do When Your Husband Doesn’t Come Home
Back to the post:
It may be a husband who is in the military and is coming home after a year stay overseas, a husband that has only been gone for 3 days, or a husband that is coming home after a long day at work.
(P.S. You gals that have husbands gone for a super long time, I COMPLETELY adore your strength.)
A little behind the scenes…
My husband owns his own company, and like many other professions, those days as a CEO of a large company, can be excruciating. There’s nothing more that I want to do when he comes home, than to show him my appreciation for working hard. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying I don’t work hard.
I’m a stay at home mom, and I run and operate THIS… my blog. But I AM saying that I want to make our home a place that he’s excited to come home to, every night. ESPECIALLY when he’s been gone for a few days.
How to Make Your Husband WANT to Come Home:
So how do I do this so-called, “making him happy to come home,” thang?
Just don’t ask my husband, because he may tell you different. Haha! Kidding. Only kidding.
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His love language.
Every husband is different. If you read my post on the secret to a marriage, then you know that everyone has their “language,” that speaks to their heart. (Some husbands, may have more than one.) Read up on what your husbands love language is, and think about something that would fulfill that language that he speaks! 😉 You can buy the book “The Five Love Languages” HERE!
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Be positive.
Yes, I know real-life happens, and sometimes life throws us some curveballs. The kids were acting awful, the lawn-mower chucked a rock at the dining room window, or the bank account is in the red because it’s been a rough month. But keeping a positive attitude when he walks through that door, can really help for the later part in the evening when it’s time to have a conversation about the not-so-fun things. So when he walks through the door, maybe wait just a bit before you throw up all of the “uglies” at him.
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Send him love notes.
Once a day, I will try to remember to send him a love note, through text. Yeah yeah yeah… I could get up early, write him a sweet note, and stick it in his coffee cup sleeve… but that’s not going to happen. So when breakfast is over, the kids are playing on their own, I’ll send my hubby a little love note, through a text. “How did I get so lucky to deserve you?” Or something like, “I can’t wait to see you when you get home.” That little “surprise” with something nice can really make his day.
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Ask him.
In the evening after the kids are off to bed, many times, I’ll ask him:
I’m grabbing something to drink, do you want something?
Or before he leaves for work, I may ask him:
I’m pretty free today. Is there anything you need help with?
Not only are you doing something nice for him by offering to help him… you may also figure out some of the types of things he likes for you to do for him. He may say something like:
You wouldn’t have time to take my truck for an oil change would you? Or I’ll have to take it on Saturday, and miss the little guy’s soccer game.
What?! Who knew? I thought he liked getting out of the house on Saturday mornings by himself to get the oil changed.
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Get fancy-schmancy.
Now Mom, (my mom), you may want to stop reading here. I may say some things that you don’t want to read or know about your daughter.
(Mom… you’re still reading aren’t you? You’re such a rebel.)
As a mom, I’m usually jumping in the shower as quick as I can, while my kids sit in the bathroom floor. So tending to my female upkeep, can be considered a rare and special occasion. 🙂 Shave those legs. Don’t forget the armpits, and whatever else you shave. Paint those toe-nails. Put on that lotion that’s supposed entice your hubby in to the sheets. (But like he needs a lotion from Victoria Secret to put him in the mood.) Put on that “Woah Baby,” outfit you bought at the mall a year ago that you’ve been dreading, putting on. And surprise him with a raring and ready to go attitude. Every man may be different, but I have a feeling most would appreciate this one. 😉
Wrap Up.
I so hope I didn’t offend you, but rather give you some ideas to try and show your husband that you love and care for him. I’d love to hear what you think below! But please remember, I’m human. I’m not a computer. So although I want you to be honest, I would love for you to also be kind. XOXO
If you have a trip for a romantic weekend or getaway planned soon, head over and read up on how to prepare for that HERE.
Just remember…”Be the woman your husband can’t wait to come home to.”
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Mary Emsweller says
Jessica,
You are definitely on target! Don’t worry about the haters. They will always exist. I have been married for 32 years and I can tell you the love language approach works like a charm. When other women complain about their husbands (believe me I don’t know very many of those women as I steer clear of constant complaining. It can mean death to a marriage). Anyway, I always say, “Do you always want to be right or do you want the relationship?” The only woman who ever answered the question with “I’ll have to think about it!” Was my mother-in-law who married twice and divorced twice never to marry again. Need I say more? The man you married was worth your best while you were dating so isn’t he worth keeping?
Thanks for the tips!
Mary
Jessica says
Aw, thank you Mary! I love your insight and thank you so much for leaving an encouraging note for all of us! 🙂
Mixhele says
Hi this is my first time at this site. I got married on Jan 1st 2019. my husband and I were inseparable. we sent each other mushy love texts every day. Now he just ignores me when we are home.
we just moved into a new house and were finally by ourselves, that was our dream. now he doesnt seem interested in anything except playing games on his phone. Tonight he called me and said he was on his way home. that was 4 hours ago, now he wont answer his phone. I dont know what to do.
Foto says
If you re having doubts about your husband and find it difficult to trust him, seek counseling and don t engage in activities like infidelity or spying . Hopefully, you can say that your husband is not only your lover but also your friend. Staying friends and companions throughout the years require that you find ways to make quality time to be together and have new experiences.
TL says
Hi Jessica =)….I’d like to start by letting you know that I’ve been married over 30 years and I came here to just get a refreshing reminder of what I could do to make my husband know that I missed him and I love him so very much. I have to say it doesn’t surprise me, although it does sadden me, that before you’re able to begin with your sweet input, you felt the need to apologize to those feminist types that must have made you feel that you’ve done something wrong by making your life about loving your husband and loving your children every day all day–that doesn’t make you a stepford wife in anyway. I am 54, my husband and I have been married for over 30 years and we have also been in business together for more than that.
We have two children, each bringing one into our marriage, that we both love as our own. Our kids are of course now up and off on their own building their own lives and families. I want to THANK YOU, for having such a beautiful sweet blog that offers great advice from your own personal perspective on how to help us make our husbands want to come home and feel loved..I literally typed these words into my search just trying to get a little refresher for my corroded old brain lacking romantic ideas =)….so I typed something like this” ideas on how to make my husband feel good coming home after being gone a week”, your blog popped up. It was something like that anyway, very close…so here I am a woman in her 50’s married for over 30 years and I’m looking for a little advice on the internet, lol! I have to say it was wonderful to find your site but it sickens me that any other woman would ever make you feel that you need to apologize for what you’re offering here? Please DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO EVER APOLOGIZE for the sweetness and love and simple ideas you are offering here. You are mommy, you are a woman and you are a wife and if someone doesn’t appreciate the advice that you’re offering they can move to a different site, but PLEASE stand strong in your convictions DO NOT APOLOGIZE for the road you’ve chosen you have every reason to be so very proud of yourself. By apologizing and acknowledging those women that spew their venom you are actually enabling and empowering their sick jealous behavior. Remember, there are other women out there that they may attack that do not have your strength=(. If you just ignore them or simply reply something like, I’m sorry you feel that way and move on with offering more wonderful advice, they will possibly read and learn something or just move on. I guess I’m just encouraging you to stand strong and DO NOT enable their bad behavior. You certainly do not have to offer reasons for what you are providing here, I came in for ideas and you had exactly what I was seeking =) and your sweet stories got my memories rolling from a time way back =) thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed!! I’ll offer youi some words of wisdom my grandma who raised me gave me many years ago…..”If you wouldn’t feel the need to apologize to your children or your husband for your actions or the care your giving them, DO NOT APOLOGIZE TO those who are attacking you for that very care”…that is simply jealously and evil they are directing at you. Anyway, I normally do not email random strangers =) I’ve just seen so much wickedness recently directed at mom’s who choose to work at home by taking care of their children and husband’s..instead of just getting pretty in the morning and dropping their kids off at day care and picking dinner up on the way home..you have made a choice in life that will make a huge, positive difference in the lives of your children and your marriage, good for you! I simply felt the need to acknowledge you and the good work you are doing here, hopefully my words of encouragement will help you to stand proudly without apologizing to anyone. Take good care of yourself and feel free to reach out to me for anything especially if my words in any way have come across in any way negative to you–that is in no way what I’m trying to do. This is honestly meant to be one big GO GIRL, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT!! =) Oh and thank you so much, you just helped me to remember a few things that will make our evening much nicer than it was going to be =)
Jessica says
Oh my goodness, this means SO SO much. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your encouraging words, advice and your time, letting me know how you feel! It’s so refreshing and just the “push” I need, especially on the days when it feels like no one is listening. 🙂 Thank you again and please come “visit” more often! The world could use more of “you” these days! 🙂