WHEW! There are some brutal people out there! Ever since I published this post, it has gone crazy viral and some of you are NOT afraid to speak your mind. So I feel I must explain my intentions with this post, to explain where I’m coming from.
My husband is very good to me, and does extremely nice things for me. So in return, and out of respect, I like to do nice things for him.
My husband and my sweet babies!
Have you ever heard someone say,
Be the wife your husband can’t wait to come home to at night?
No? Yes? I’ve heard it a million times, and I always try to keep advice in my head. As I would hope my husband would think the visa versa. Right?
So I began to think,
What are some things that he would love, to really make him feel special?
and this post was born.
No people, I’m not saying rewind 60 years and be a Stepford Wife. I’m just saying what I like to do for my husband to show my appreciation, and I would very well expect respect in return. Right?
So let’s carry on with this post, and maybe all of the bullies will stop “hating,” on this post. If not… sorry. This is something that works well in my marriage, and I hope it can give someone else great ideas too! If not, I’d LOVE to hear what works in your marriage. Every marriage is different.
Back to the post:
It may be a husband who is in the military, and is coming home after a year stay overseas, a husband that has only been gone for 3 days, or a husband that is coming home after a long day at work.
(P.S. You gals that have husbands gone for a super long time, I COMPLETELY adore your strength.)
A little behind the scenes…
My husband owns his own Real Estate Development company, and like many other professions, those days as a CEO of a large company, can be excruciating. There’s nothing more that I want to do when he comes home, than to show him my appreciation for working hard. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying I don’t work hard.
I’m a stay at home mom, and I run and operate THIS… my blog. But I AM saying that I want to make our home a place that he’s excited to come home to, every night. ESPECIALLY when he’s been gone for a few days.
How to Make Your Husband WANT to Come Home:
So how do I do this so-called, “making him happy to come home,” thang?
Just don’t ask my husband, because he may tell you different. Haha! Kidding. Only kidding.
His love language.
Every husband is different. If you read my post on the secret to a marriage, then you know that everyone has their “language,” that speaks to their heart. (Some husbands, may have more than one.) Read up on what your husbands love language is, and think about something that would fulfill that language that he speaks! 😉 You can buy the book “The Five Love Languages” HERE!
Be positive.
Yes, I know real-life happens, and sometimes life throws us some curveballs. The kids were acting awful, the lawn-mower chucked a rock at the dining room window, or the bank account is in the red because it’s been a rough month. But keeping a positive attitude when he walks through that door, can really help for the later part in the evening when it’s time to have a conversation about the not-so-fun things. So when he walks through the door, maybe wait just a bit before you throw up all of the “uglies” at him.
Don’t forget to make each other laugh. Him and I dressed up for the Def Leppard concert, a few years ago. You’re never too old to have fun. 😉
Send him love notes.
Once a day, I will try to remember to send him a love note, through text. Yeah yeah yeah… I could get up early, write him a sweet note, and stick it in his coffee cup sleeve… but that’s not going to happen. So when breakfast is over, the kids are playing on their own, I’ll send my hubby a little love note, through a text. “How did I get so lucky to deserve you?” Or something like, “I can’t wait to see you when you get home.” That little “surprise” with something nice can really make his day.
Ask him.
In the evening after the kids are off to bed, many times, I’ll ask him:
I’m grabbing something to drink, do you want something?
Or before he leaves for work, I may ask him:
I’m pretty free today. Is there anything you need help with?
Not only are you doing something nice for him by offering to help him… you may also figure out some of the types of things he likes for you to do for him. He may say something like:
You wouldn’t have time to take my truck for an oil change would you? Or I’ll have to take it on Saturday, and miss the little guy’s soccer game.
What?! Who knew? I thought he liked getting out of the house on Saturday mornings by himself to get the oil changed.
Our beach wedding, back in 2008
Get fancy-schmancy.
Now Mom, (my mom), you may want to stop reading here. I may say some things that you don’t want to read or know about your daughter.
(Mom… you’re still reading aren’t you? You’re such a rebel.)
As a mom, I’m usually jumping in the shower as quick as I can, while my kids sit in the bathroom floor. So tending to my female upkeep, can be considered a rare and special occasion. 🙂 Shave those legs. Don’t forget the armpits, and whatever else you shave. Paint those toe-nails. Put on that lotion that’s supposed entice your hubby in to the sheets. (But like he needs a lotion from Victoria Secret to put him in the mood.) Put on that “Woah Baby,” outfit you bought at the mall a year ago that you’ve been dreading, putting on. And surprise him with a raring and ready to go attitude. Every man may be different, but I have a feeling most would appreciate this one. 😉
Wrap Up.
I so hope I didn’t offend you, but rather give you some ideas to try and show your husband that you love and care for him. I’d love to hear what you think below! But please remember, I’m human. I’m not a computer. So although I want you to be honest, I would love for you to also be kind. XOXO
If you have a trip for a romantic weekend or getaway planned soon, head over and read up on how to prepare for that HERE.
Just remember…”Be the woman your husband can’t wait to come home to.”
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Hello, I COMPLETELY agree with your suggestions on how to entice your man. You are really just reminding us all how to be nice and considerate to our mate. It’s a real shame that the feminists have brain washed us all in to thinking that being kind and considerate makes us subservient.
Thank you Shari! That means a ton! I was caught off guard at some of the comments on my social media outlets for sure. That’s SURE not what I intended…
Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion, but some were just flat out harsh!
Thank you so much for commenting!!
ITA. This is just “be polite” Sad that some have to be reminded. In my house we thank each other for even the small things. Like picking up a cup one of us left on the table and putting it in the sink. We always thank the person that made the meal, even if it is just a salad.
And we are always telling each other how much we love one another. You never know when the last time will be the “last time” you say those words.
Is it sad that I had to google what “ITA,” meant!? Hahaha! Thank you so much for your comment. You’re so right, you never know what each day holds. I love what you do in your home. I will try to implement that in our home as well! Thanks for visiting! I hope you visit back! XO
Hi Jessica dear, thanks so much I usually read the articles and jst skip but this is first time I read the conversation wht people talk regarding this article ….it’s very much good and helpful will do try and make sure tht I be a wonderful wife like
Thank you Tasneem! So fun to have you stop by and drop a note! 🙂
Well said,we never know when is the last time
My husband always thank me after every meal that I ask myself if they are always delicious or …perhaps the effort I put in making them
Aww, yes! Love that! 🙂
I understand what ur saying but my husband has ptsd and he stays gone for days and I’ll go by his friends and just drive by he never knows but he just wont come home he says he doesn’t want to be here but doesn’t say y
I’ve had to remind him to say Thank you for things, he does it more often now.
I absolutely love and agree with this post. Although popular worldly standards say put yourself first all of the successfull marriages I have witnesses involve both putting the other first. A close friend of mine wrote an article once where she interviewed both her parents asking what made their marriage work. Each one unbenown to the other said that although they knew they theirself failed many times , the other put them first. I thought that was beautiful. Each one saw the best in the other with a willing heart to continue to improve. How amazing is that. They have been married for 40 plus years and still going strong.
Thank you so much for your comment! That is so awesome to hear that! I love all of those success stories. You’re so right. That IS beautiful!!!
Whoah there, not so fast. Please don’t use the term “feminist” in place of “misandrist” Feminists are people wish that men and women be equal. If you are a woman who wants to be considered lesser than a man, I really don’t understand you. About the article, I don’t think any of these tips are necessarily specific to men, they’re more about being considerate of your partner. If this had been titled differently, I don’t think there would have been as much of a response.
Thank you so much for coming by and leaving a note Gwen! You’re right! These tips would be good for any partner! I simply wrote the post geared towards women, because women make up 90% of my audience here on the blog!
I had no idea it would go so viral, or I probably would have changed it! 🙂 Thanks again!
Hi Shari, just throwing it out there that the real idea of feminism supports equality of both women and men. A lot of people misunderstand the word or movement, but it’s really supposed to be about women being whatever they want even if it’s “masculine” like a scientist, CEO, politician, etc, and men being whatever they want even if it’s “feminine” like a nurse, teacher, stay-at-home dad, etc. Its about mutual respect, really listening to each other, and not belittling or limiting each half of the population.
I consider myself a feminist and found this article while looking for nice things to do for my boyfriend, because he is so generous and caring with me that I want to put more effort into being the same way back!
I think we both are in agreement of the same things. Just trying to straighten out what feminism is really trying to be about.
Oops just read the dates on these, and that someone has already commented on the feminism thing, and am now feeling silly! Please disregard comment if you already got the idea.
Ditto! I stumbled upon this article as well and loved the suggestions to do caring things for your husband ( boyfriend, partner). I think some people just overreacted with the title of the blog. This is just geared towards that healthy happy relationship and how to keep that spark going with acts of kindness. Thank you Jessica for posting this!!
I’ve been married 50 years,seems my husband don’t care like he use to!I’ve all but stripped his clothes off!! NOTHING!!!!SO ADVISE PLEASE!!
I don’t see any negative comments here so I may be way off base with my thoughts. Just because someone disagrees with your opinion, this does not make them automatically a bully or a hater. I think those terms get thrown around a lot lately. I’m not sure what constitutes being a hater, possibly comments including feelings of hate toward you or your ideas. Simply having a difference of opinion does not make one a hater. In regards to bullying, there must be some physical or emotional intimidation. It’s possible that people are threatening you, I certainly hope not.
Signed,
Not a hater, not a bully, just someone who might disagree.
Hi Kaye. Thank you for your comment. Yes, there are no negative comments on this post… however there were some very hateful comments, emails, posts, etc. on my social media outlets, etc.
I appreciate all comments, thoughts, and opinions. However when someone{s} out there, purposely goes out of their way to demean, name-call, make fun of, etc… it’s disheartening for sure.
Sometimes I think when people read things on the Internet, they may forget that a real person may have written it, and are quick to judge, say hurtful things, etc.. because it doesn’t seem like a real person is sitting on the other side. It’s also easy to sit behind a computer and say what they want, but I guarantee a lot of them would have a hard time saying some of the things that they said, to me in person.
But yes, things were said on other outlets towards me, that I would definitely consider bullying. Did I lose sleep over it? Heck no. 🙂
Jessica, you were way too nice to Kaye. I think she was being a little facetious. However, I think you are a wonderful person, and an amazing wife. Women aren’t grateful enough for their husbands who work hard for the family. Good for you for being proud, and not letting those bully’s and haters get to you. Your pretty, and a grateful woman, and they’re just jealous. Keep it up, girl! By the way, I have an awesome husband, too. I’m very blessed.
You are so sweet Liz. Unfortunately, most of the hateful comments were on Pinterest and emails! Crazy, right!? Your kind words are just what I needed to hear today too! Thank you so much for being so sweet. Never hesitate to drop a note again! XOXO
Liz… Like wise, men aren’t grateful enough for their wife’s who work just as hard & in most cases harder for the family. Kaye has every right to her own opinion & to express it. Jessica gave a very good & balanced reply. Both men & women need to be equally grateful for one another & show it daily, in order for any relationship to be successful. It’s out of line for you to assume without having facts. Everyone’s situation is different. While I’m glad to hear you are blessed with an awesome husband, the reality is, not everyone else is blessed in the same way, otherwise the divorce rate wouldn’t hold steady at 50%.
Lastly, insinuating that certain people who have commented are jealous of Jessica is incorrect. Jealousy is a protective reaction to a perceived threat, i.e. the threat of separation from or the loss of a romantic partner for example. The proper word is envy, there’s a possibility they’re envious of Jessica, & when anyone is feeling envious the thing to do is ask yourself, what is it about me that I’m dissatisfied with? & What really needs to change in my life in order to feel content again? Love your positive insight & perspective Jessica. Keep up the good work.
Very encouraging and an excellent example to follow!
Awww, thank you Andrea for leaving a comment! So glad that you found it encouraging! I sure don’t succeed in all of these every day, but I try to do at least one, and sometimes that doesn’t happen. Haha! Have a great day!
I LOVED your post! ❤️???????
I too have had some upsetting things said to me in social media. I am disabled and initially joined several online support groups. Some folks don’t respect ideas and thoughts that are different than theirs.
I think sometimes it’s easy to misinterpret exactly what one is trying to communicate when you’re reading it without the benefit of facial expressions and tone of voice.
In telling someone what works for me might not work for them as we are all unique individuals, some only read or see what they want. People get very sensitive sometimes too about their ideas and beliefs if others don’t agree. Anyhow, it’s sad as it got to be bad for a lot of us in those so called support groups. So I left All of those groups. ?
In general people are not as nice and kind to others as years ago? I was raised to treat others how I’d like to be treated. But many these days seem to only care about themselves. Sadly, It seems to me I’ve seen more unkind people in this world than I did prior to getting sick (a bit disturbing)? I’ve heard this from others as well. Though I am well aware that not everyone is rude or hateful, I do think more than ever before are.
Don’t ever let the actions or words of another stop you from being who you are in this life. I personally CELEBRATE our differences in life. I applaud a unique individual. This world would certainly be very boring if we were all the same! I know you didn’t lose sleep. But others do over this kind of thing and I hope to express to them to “shake it off and keep going.” Others opinions are just that. Opinions are not fact and only you know who you really are and what kind of person you want to be.
Don’t ever change who you are for someone else. Some certainly could afford to be kinder though! Though no one is perfect and we all have bad days. Remember the old saying,
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” I write this in respect and not judgement.
Anyhow, I LOVED YOUR POST! ❤️❤️❤️
As someone trying to better my marriage,
I read a lot of your posts. I like them all.
I might not agree on every topic but mostly,
I find them inspiring and motivational.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK‼️‼️
Best. Comment. Ever. Not because you were nice to me… but because of the heart and soul behind it! Thank you so much for leaving such a great note. I love all of the encouragement you have, not just for me… but for anyone reading it. I’m so sorry you have been through such heartache. You’re inspirational. Thank you for following along, and I hope to see you around here again soon! XO
Hi Jessica,
I know this is an older post but I had to write that these tips you wrote are not only great,I truly believe that if I would have implemented them, my ex Husband would not have left home.
The main reason that he gave for leaving was that I did not appreciate him enough and in hindsight I believe that is what happened.
There is nothing wrong with these tips and it is not women being subservient but rather providing a happy environment not just for the man but for the women and children as well!
So I wanted to add that these tips are not only something that would make a husband happy to come home, but also a means to divorce proof a marriage!
For me to be honest I have to admit that if these were implemented I wholeheartedly believe that I would still be married.
You are a great woman and wife, I wish you the best
Oh Deda, thank you SO much for your comment! Not because it agrees with what I said in this post, but because I can TRULY feel the heart behind it, and for sharing your story. I’m so thankful you came by today, and continue to pop in! I love your honestly,and willingness to share! Also, thank you for your sweet words, and encouragement! XO
Jessica, this is a great article, we all too often get swept up in our busy lives. I think your article could be titled “5 simples ways to make your SPOUSE want to come home” my husband and I are both currently in the military so some days are longer for him and some days are longer for me, I think that’s possible for all couples, so it needs to become important for each member of the “team” to work to try and make coming home, regardless of the day you’ve had, not a chore. I try to walk in the door and greet my husband with a smile and cheerful voice… Many nights, mostly when I come home later, I try and walk in that way and can get a distracted less than enthusiastic response, and it just kind of takes the wind out of my sails for a moment. It’s important to make the other feel That you are happy to be home and that he spouse is happy to have them home!
You’re right! I think I titled it that way, because I was gearing in my head what i like to do for my husband. If I worded it the other way, I think I may like other types of things… well, maybe. Lol!
Love your comment, and thank you so much for taking time out to leave one! XO
I love this post! I will keep this in mind and definitely put it to practice! I think your suggestions are helpful!
Oh gooood! So glad that you found it helpful! You’re so sweet to leave a comment! I hope you come back to visit! 😉 XO
Love it! Thank you so much for taking the time trying ti inspired other! God bless… Xox
Thank you!!! That’s so sweet! I hope it helps someone out there looking for ideas! 🙂 Have a great weekend! XO
love this! I wrote a post about police wives that went viral and I had so many haters I had to write a disclaimer at the beginning too! Haha
Thank you! Oh so you TOTALLY get it! Lol! I had no idea that it would upset so many! Eeeek!
Great reminder for the busy wife with an even busier traveling husband. These things aren’t hard to do–or earth shattering advice–they’re simply the things we so often get to busy to remember. And as a career woman with kids at home who has a husband that travels, these are all things I do intentionally on a regular basis. My marriage thrives as a result. Is my marriage perfect? Heck no. But it helps me remember that he’s my person and that I married him for reasons and that I’m still crazy in love with him. It helps him remember the same things and makes him want to come home 🙂
Oh of course… no marriage is perfect, that’s for SURE! Love your take on it! Thank you!
hi! I am a feminist (the kind that believes in equal rights between men and women for the record that is real feminism) I am also a stay at home mom with two little ones and a wife(going on 10 years!!! Yikes!) to an amazing man. I so agree that to have a happy marriage you need happy spouses(two happy spouses!!!. I love what you wrote and I totally agree. I often do try to take the time to make my husband feel special. It is funny how some people are freaking out about this post but the truth is to have a happy stable and healthy relationship you need to take the time to consider the other person in the relationship. You are partners 50 50 :)I love how you specified that he also takes the time to be a supportive partner to you and that is so important! I believe the reason for so many divorces these days is that we forget how we made each other feel first before all the responsibilities and kids came. Thanks for posting it’s a great reminder 🙂
Thank you so much for your comment! I agree. We probably unintentionally forget about the things that each other likes. We rush around just trying to get through the day, and before you know it… months and years go by before we may realize it. I’m so happy you stopped by! XO
I completely agree with your post, my husband is so good at doing things that not all dads do like bathing the kids or doing laundry. After doing construction type work all day. I stay pretty busy too but I don’t do manual labor like he does so I really don’t expect him to do those things when he gets home. I get caught up in the stress of being a mom and don’t always give him much attention and that makes us feel like roommates, I hate that. Marriage takes effort so I can always use ideas like this, and reminders to make more of an effort . I know way too many couples that just don’t try anymore and that makes the whole family unhappy. People really do get offended by everything these days.
I am SO glad that you were able to use this post as a reminder! He sounds like a fabulous husband! It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress for sure. I totally hear you on that one. Thank you so much for dropping a note and letting me know that you came by! I truly appreciate it! XO
Thank you for this post. I have a great marriage but my poor husband has had to deal with constant complaints about work, my colleagues and a whole list of other things the minute he walks through the door. I will definitely put your suggestions to use and make the time he gets home special for him. I work full-time and have two small children so I hardly EVER have time to make him feel special and I feel bad about it
Awww, well we all can’t be super positive all of the time, that’s for sure. Life can get tiring and stressful. My poor husband barely got a cup of coffee this morning from me! Lol! So I just try to do the best I can! 🙂 Thank you so much for dropping a note, and thank you for coming by!! I hope you come by again soon! XO
Why would anyone be a “hater” of advice that just proclaims your love for the person you’re supposed to love only 2nd to Jesus? Crazy stuff. Keep on, love DOES win 🙂
Thank you Susan! I really appreciate it!
Great article! I LOVE seeing these types of posts that remind us wives how much power we really have in our relationships. It’s hard, but worth it to see your husband happy and feel appreciated. My sweet husband gives it back 10x over!
Ps- I admire your for staying strong against the haters! It’s really tough when people are so mean behind the safety of a keyboard.
Thank you so much Rebecca! I know exactly what you mean. Seeing their face light up, is such a great feeling! Thank you for the kind words… you’ve made my day. 🙂
I don’t know how anyone could say negative things about this post! What’s wrong with a woman who tries to please her man and make him excited to come home? I appreciate this post and agree with all your points. One thing I make sure to do every night when my husband arrives is stop what I’m doing (if at all possible), give him a big smile, and say something to welcome him in the door. Then as soon as I can, I walk over and give him a hug and a kiss. He always appreciates it!
Thanks for commenting Hannah! I love that you do that!!! I bet he does feel welcome when you do that. Who wouldn’t, right!? 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing and stopping by! I hope you come back again soon, and please drop me a note again if so! 🙂
I love your article! Being submissive and putting our husbands needs first doesn’t mean being a doormat. It’s showing respect and appreciation, and when you do so, you are more likely to receive it in return. I read once that the best way to get your husband to treat you like a queen is to treat him like a king(: Most sitcoms portray men in families as bumbling idiots and the mom as the one who wears the pants in the family and make fun of her husband, as do the kids. That is not a healthy attitude.
I love that Vicki, and I totally agree!! Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a note!
You are a doll and I couldn’t agree with you more!
Awwwww, thank you Gianna! I hope you come by again soon! XO
Your post was shared with me by Pintrest as, Chosen Just for You. The title intrigued me as a married man with 4 kids + 4 in-law kids and 7 grandkids. My first thought was, i dint need my wife to say 5 things or do five things. As I’m backing out of the driveway I can’t wait to get back home to my wife. After reading your blog, I realized why. She already does those things. She takes care of me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I also realize my three son’s treat their wives the same as I treat their mother and that’s where good relationships really begin. Our children see how we treat each other and assume that is “normal”. Thanks for sharing good advice.
Awwwww! Your comment made my day! Thank you so much!
I love how you ran across the post, and enjoyed it! So happy to hear that you’re happy too! Thanks so much for sharing your story!
I think in today’s world a lot of people forget how to be nice and too many people feel entitled to anything their heart desires. It is nice and refreshing to see some old fashion attitude when it comes to relationships. My husband and I have been together for 10 years we both work full time and he still opens the door for me and I still make sure dinner is on the table for him. There is nothing wrong in respecting and caring for each others needs. That’s how you save relationships.
That is sooo wonderful. I’d kill for my husband to open the door for me. Haha!! I’ve always wanted that… but he does other nice things too, so I’m thankful for those! Thank you so much for dropping, and telling your story! 🙂
I loved the post. In a way, it all does boil down to simply being nice and showing love, which isn’t always easy when life gets hectic and crazy. Thank you so much for sharing yours!
I also think it’s helpful to think about the things your love does that makes you feel loved. I find it’s a good clue for things that will make him feel loved back. My boyfriend is such a doer, he will not come to my house without planning to fix something or help me with a project. So when the timing belt broke on his truck and he was stressed out about not having time to fix it, I put on my grub clothes and crawled right under there with him. That happens to fall into my wheel house, so it wasn’t a big deal for me, but if I didn’t have mechanical ability I would have been there at least handing him tools or some coffee. This happened months ago but my boyfriend still brags on me doing that with him. And I admit, we had some nice intimate time getting (wink wink) dirty (which he thankfully kept to himself during the bragging). I think taking care of something he feels responsible for either for him or with him, especially when he might be having a hard week is the greatest. How sweet is it if he always does the yard work for him to come home and find the lawn is cut and trimmed up so he can spend time with you? And in some cases, you don’t have to do whatever it is yourself, you could always slip the neighbo kid a few bucks to do it!
Another thing I personally like to do is make him a favorite meal. I enjoy cooking, especially learning new food. So when he mentioned he loved it, I learned to make naan. And about a dozen other things on different occasions. I don’t advocate doing that if you’re for some reason against cooking for a guy but the challenge of learning to make something new is something I enjoy. I think you enjoying the act is important. He (or she!) will sense if you’re doing something you don’t want to do and that could take away from the favor part of it. Feeling and looking for new ways to express love is the key. And also remembering the tried and true ways that worked in the beginning. My boyfriend was very sad in the beginning of our relationship when the anniversary of his moms death was coming. He mentioned it to me several times. I took a break from my own life to drive two hours just to give him the big hug he needed. Then I turned around and drove back because that was all the time either of us had that day.You can’t always do the crazy things you wish you could to show someone you care, but when you can, I think you have to make time for the important things!
Oops, this comment turned out much longer than I planned, really just wanted to let you know your post was appreciated and agreed with and say keep up the great work!
Wow! What a great comment AND story! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! It sounds like you two are so perfect for each other!! Thank you so much for sharing, and visiting! 🙂
Such a great reminder how to be loving and considerate, such simple ways to make our hubbies love to come home, more importantly the first things that fly out the window and make them not want to come home! I know I would love these if our roles were reversed! Thank you for writing this little reminder in such a careful, thought out way. No minimizing of anyone’s roles. I never understand the cruel comments….
Thank you so much for coming over Tricia! I totally agree! It means a lot that you dropped a note! Thanks so much!
Hii, love the post…thanks for sharing .
Awww, thank you! Thank you so much for stopping by & leaving a note! 🙂
Haters gonna hate. They didn’t get the essence of what you were trying to say. I personally am the #1 income for my partnership working a full time job as an employment/income development coordinator and housing case mgr for people experiencing homelessness during the week and a professional musician on the weekends, my partner working at a bike shop. I still manage to find a moment in my day to sneak an emoticon or sweet text to him and try to bake some simple sweet treat every couple of weeks so we always have something healthy and fresh in the house. In return my partner does so many big and little lovely surprises back.
Oh wow! Thank you so much for your story! I love it! Love how you do the little things… sometimes they can mean the most! 🙂
I just love this! Simple. Basic. The small things. I’m a full time working mom of 3 AND we have a part time catering company which my hubby and I run together so we are exhauseted ALL THE TIME and it’s so easy to wear the exhausted face all the time. But, my hubby said the other day nothing makes him happier than coming home to a smile, so I try to give him at least that because we both worked hard and he walks into the door with a smile so the least I can do is return the favour… thanks for the reminder!
Awwwww! Yay! I’m so glad that you liked it! You’re right. Sometimes we forget to do the small & simple things… or we go completely overboard trying too hard, when in reality… they probably just want the small things. 🙂 Thank you so much for coming by, and dropping a sweet note! I hope you come back again! XOXO
This post was a great reminder. Often I forget to be appreciative and loving due to the stress of everyday. Thanks again. Can’t wait to put a smile in his heart and face today.
Yaaaay! I’m so glad! Thank you so much for coming by and reading! Would love to hear how it goes or any other ideas you came up with! 🙂
i am just finishing the book “His Needs, Her Needs”. I really recommend it to everyone! In just a few days of using some of the ideas in it there is such a difference. It deals with these same kinds of ideas
Ahhh! I’ll have to read that book! I’ve never heard of it, but it sounds like something that I’d love to read! Thank you!
I agree with you on some of these points. I do my best to make my husband feel good about coming home. It’s hard, however, when you suffer from depression and have many times when you just feel like he should be anywhere else but home, because you don’t want to be there. I AM, however, going to try to take some of these suggestions and apply them. I may not be able to do all 5, but there are some I absolutely can do.
Hi Sarah! Oh of course!!! I don’t believe anyone can do all of these all of the time! I sure can’t! Haha!! So glad you came by!
This post is wonderful ! These are excellent reminders for me. My husband is out on the road all week , every week and I am very intentional about not dumping anything on him until we have had time to spend just being together again after a long week, especially being together as a family. Even then I don’t ever “dump” anything on him, especially not our kids. Knowing his love language is huge! It goes a long way in making those hardworking men of ours feel loved and appreciated! 🙂
Oh goodness… I totally commend you! I know there are a lot of women out there with husbands who work over the road, travel a lot, or are even gone for long periods of time. Love your view point of how you handle it too! Thank you for sharing!!!
I love this post. What’s so wrong with showing love, appreciation and genuinely just wanting to put a smile on your husband’s face? Men crave love just as much as we do and I tell myself this all the time, “you get what you give”. If I give love I get love. When you’re vulnerable with him, he notices. He responds in a nurturing manner. It makes him want to be there for you just as much. I love this post, please continue to give us tips in just about anything. Thanks for sharing!
I completely agree Nina. Thank you so much for the comment. I can’t WAIT to show him love, and I love that he’s excited to come home to me every night! 🙂 Thank you so much for coming by and dropping a note!
Yey for a good post going viral—boo to the haters (but hey, it makes for good traffic either way 😉 ) Definitely amazing tips–I try hard to keep these in our marriage to keep my hubby happy to come home, too! 🙂
AWWW, thank you for the comment Nicole! Haha, this is TRUE about traffic. Lol! Oh good! “Trying” is the key word there for me! I try to remember to do these daily too! 😉 Thanks again! XO
Wow, it is sad if this post offended people. I can’t imagine what their marriages are like or even friendships. All your advice is basic parts of a happy marriage. Like with every person if your husband treats you well and with respect he certainly deserves to be treated the same. It isn’t like you said bow down and kiss his feet when he walks in the door.
Well I thought the same, but you’d be surprise that I’m STILL getting messages and comments on social media… that’s not so nice, about this post. :/ Thank you for dropping a note about what you think!
It’s extremely sad that people have to be told to be nice to their husbands. And then when they are told, they get all snippy. This is where so many divorces come from. If we weren’t so into ourselves (men and women alike) we wouldn’t have all these issues. You’re a unit, and if you want respect, you need to give it.
I love my husband dearly and try my hardest to make him happy. I don’t work nearly as long of hours as he does, but I do my best to continue working at the house – cleaning, cooking, taking care of the animals (no kids yet) and working on my home businesses while he’s off defending the country. While he was gone for 6 months last year, I made sure to let him know how much he was appreciated and loved as often as I could because it gets so disheartening over there and all he wanted to do was come home. It broke my heart but I wasn’t going to let him know that because I wanted to be able to lift his spirits, not make it worse for him that I missed him so much. He knew I did, I didn’t have to tell him, but telling him I loved him every day made him feel better – so I did that. I made him want to make those 6 months fly by so he could come home to me.
And while your post might be “common sense” to some, it’s always good to have a reminder when life gets tough. And obviously needs to be told to others who think being nice means you’re a servant.
Thank you for your post !
Thank you so much for your comment! What a great story! Please tell him that I thank him for his service! I agree, reminders are nice. Even being the one that wrote it, I still need to re-read it at times to remember. 🙂 Have a great day!
Love this post! I am always trying to see a new perspective or get more ideas. I tend to forget to tend to myself when I am with the kids all day. I just realized how I look right now is not the greatest, even though he will come straight into the kitchen and give me a kiss when he gets home regardless it is still nice to try and freshen up before he gets here.
Aww, thank you so much! Hey, it’s SOOO easy to forget to tend to ourselves, when we are responsible for the well being of others! Haha! So glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for leaving a comment!
I absolutely LOVED this. It’s the simple things that makes them love coming home. Whenever my husband or I leaves or comes home there’s a kiss. It’s just a must!
Awww! Yes!!! I love the simple things! They can mean SO much! Thank you so much for coming by, and dropping a sweet note!
I think the problem many people have with this post is that doesn’t say much about marriage equality. It assumes that you have a great husband that obviously does nice things for you so you have to do them back. Not to mention that the word “nice” is a temporary word, it makes things sound very 50’s housewife. Respect, love, and cherish each other. Be equal to one another. Don’t be nice because he “works so hard” be nice because you love him. Don’t “stay positive” because apparently that will “make him come home” do it because it’s a great way to think, destresses you, and has a lot health benefits attached to it. And especially don’t do anything to “please” your husband if he isn’t doing it back. Don’t shave your legs everyday and put on a wow outfit if he isn’t shaving his face everyday and cooking at least one meal per day. I come from a military background where a lot of woman acted like this. You know what happened to them? They became overworked, underapreciated, and made a lot of excuses for their husbands. Treat each other with love and care because you love and care for each other. Not because someone on the Internet said it will help your husband come home. Also if your husband isn’t coming home happy ASK WHY. Don’t go on the Internet for answers, talk to him.
Absolutely! I think marriage equality is so important! Thank you coming by and leaving a comment!
Never let anyone rent space in your head for free!!
I believe in assuming positive intent. Those haters obviously have very poor lives and therefore we need to acknowledge them and move on. You sound like a wonderful person, trying to do the right things and taking the time to really sit down and think about someone else. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone did that!! This world would be a much nicer place!
Keep doing what you are doing and keep your head up and don’t spend any time on trying to decipher what haters meant…as they say, Haters gotta Hate. Not letting people rent space in your head for free is liberating!!!
Thank you Catherine! That means a lot! I love how we all have opinions… that’s what makes this world go around, right!? 🙂 Thank you for your sweet words! XOXO
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. There are still some women out here that need to read something like this to remind them that life shouldn’t get in the way everyday and your partners happiness still matters. I’m definitely grateful that I came across this read. Bless your heart honey <3
Awww, thank you so much Krystal! That means a lot! I was hoping it would provide help out there to someone, even myself! Some days it’s nice to go back and read it myself! 🙂 Thank you for dropping a note! XO
Your blog is completely on target. Women would be amazed if they just try it – treating your husband the way you want him to treat you – simple courtesies, making your home is oasis/his nest, reaching out to him unexpectedly, asking him if you can help him – in short – being the best wife you can be. Once you behave this way, you’ll be surprised by how he responds and behaves in return. I once read this book “Becoming the Woman of His Dreams” which embodies alot of the principles you speak of at a time when my marriage was more like spending time with a roommate. It worked and 5 or 6 years later it’s still working. I’ve been with my husband 28 years and we’re better than ever. This philopshy is what works. It’s not bowing down to a man – it’s being loving, courteous, and kind and a little flirty. Write on!
You’re so sweet. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, AND read it! Love your comments. I have to agree, sometimes just making those small adjustments can change the day to day, so much! I love hearing that it’s been working for you too! And thank you for the encouragement to keep writing! I may just do another one today! 😉 XOXO
First time I have ever commented online, so bear with me haha. I appreciated what u wrote! everyday when I walk through the door after work my husband smiles and says “hi sweetheart” and you know what I do? I do not smile and a grunt a hello!!!! what the heck is that! You actually made me realize what I was doing. Who would want to come home to that I ask you?Starting today ill make the effort all because I read your story and yes sometimes people do need a little reminding, so thank you!
Awww, I’m SO happy to have you comment on here! I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond. I failed at the quickness on this one. Lol! I’m tickled that you found it helpful, and I hope you get the chance to write back and tell me if you’ve given it a try! I’d love to hear from you again! 🙂
Thank you for sharing what works for you! I can relate to this cause I’m a stay at home mom while my husband works.Wish I have the patience to do all this , even though i feel like doing nice things and kind of be romantic , after a long day of spending time with my 4 year old( I don’t have any household help or nanny and my parents live out of country) it seems like I just don’t have it remained in me to be ‘nice’ . Don’t mistake that I don’t like spending time with my daughter, I do love her a lot ! Some days are easy and some are hard and it shows in the way I speak and respond to my husband and honestly I really feel bad from inside. Sometimes we have issues regarding this and every time it’s the same reason, I’m not saying our marriage is troubled ( we do have good moments), it’s just I wish it was more romantic and smooth . I wish my husband thinks about me the same way- to do something special for me once in a while, after all I’m your kid’s mother and moms are not machines! But thing is we both are simple and down to earth people, we feel guilty to indulge in overselves. Hope it passes and there will be days when we can both enjoy some quality time together just holding hands and walking in the sunsets with not a thing to worry about!!
Thank you SO much for sharing your story Kat. Really. And please know that I SO get it, and understand it. The energy is GONE at the end of the day, isn’t it? I can completely relate. Are you able to have a date night once in a while? (Even with a sitter that may not be family, but is someone that you know and trust?) Date nights have been so good for us! But totally understand they can be hard to achieve or make happen!
You are lucky if you have a husband who responds to you with kindness and affectionI and makes you feel loved. I wish I had one. Yes, for over 25 years I bent over backwards for him. I don’t anymore, got tired of giving and never receiving any love in return, by the way we have been married for over 37 years. So count your lucky stars if you have a husband who shows you love and affection.
Hi Debbie! Thank you for leaving a note! I’m sorry for the struggles that you’ve had. I’m very thankful I’m married to someone to tries just as hard as I do, to make things a little easier in a marriage! Best wishes for you! XO
I know im coming into this pretty late, but I LOVED YOUR POST!!! I found this to be very encouraging as a stay at home mom. I do apologize for the ones who didnt understand the message you were trying to convey and misconstrued it into something else. I will now become an avid follower!!!
Awww, thank you so much!! XO
This is beautiful! I love the little “Ask Him” part…really made me realize that he does this for me all the time! Thanks for this, I totally came across this blog by accident. I have an amazing husband :’)
Awww! I LOVE hearing this. So happy that you accidentally came by. Those are always my favorite. 🙂 So happy for you, and thank you so much for dropping a note! XO
I feel the love you have for each other! If you make the love for him run over you stand underneath it and in return you get the overflow from him! Don’t take any notice of the others, you just love the way you want too and stuff the rest, if it makes you happy to swing from chandeliers so what? Your marriage, your rules, all kudos to you both
Awww… I love this! Thank you so much for your encouragement and comments. The older that I get, the more I realize it’s easier to just do what we think is best for us! 🙂 Thank you again! XO
Haters gonna hate no matter what, sucks to be them. I agree with you on this post 100%. Love it, Love it!
You’re so sweet Kathleen! Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a note! XO
Thank you for posting this awesome blog! I’m gonna implement them when hubby gets home from working abroad next month.
You’re SO welcome Andria! Thank YOU so much for dropping a sweet comment! Have so much fun when he gets home!! XO
I see nothing wrong with this post ?? Ignore haters and “stepford wife” visualizers! We forget so easily that the little things matter a lot, and this is a nice reminder of that. I used to hide little love notes in my husband’s stuff and date it with the day/month/year. Sometimes he’d find it a day later, and once he found it two years later lol it meant a lot and he saved every one of them. But now with the craziness of day to day life, a text will suffice!
Thank you Lisa! Awww… secret love notes are such a fun idea!! That’s hilarious that he didn’t find it until 2 years later too!! It may have come at the perfect time! 🙂 Thanks for coming by and dropping a note!
I totally agree with you.! I always put my husband first. I meet him at the door and kiss him after work. I make sure to have dinner done and serve it to him in his favorite chair. I think you are an amazing person and you have a cute family if you don’t mind me saying so. There is nothing wrong with your blog. Don’t worry about rude people they just don’t understand what it is to be kind and full heartedly care for someone and put themselves on the backburner for a minute. No offense to anyone here. I just think it is rude and cruel to hurt someone that is just trying to help those that may need the insight. If you don’t like what the post says don’t read it. You don’t have to be mean to her for writing it. I think it is great what you are trying to do. It sounds like we have alot in common when it comes to our hubbies . Keep writing!
Aw, thank you Jess! That means a lot. It DOES sound like we have a lot in common!! Although some days are harder than others, to try and remember to do some of these, I sure try. And what a difference it makes in my day too! Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a note!
Thanks for this post! I am engaged, but am really excited to start implementing these things! My favorite thing is to see my man smile, so I don’t understand why people would be upset over these things rather than try to do some of them to make their partner happy. You can’t be selfish in relationships, so it makes me sad that the attitude is a lot of “well they don’t do that for me”. And in my experience, if you do the nice things first, your partner is sure to follow! Not that I am perfect, but I am happier when my man is happy to see me! Then again, I’m not even married yet :). I’m sorry some comments hurt you, they would have hurt me too! Anyway, you really encouraged this bride to be!
Awww, congratulations on your engagement! Thank you so much for the sweet and encouraging email!
Well, we are all different people on this planet, so I tend to tell myself over and over again since this post,that we don’t all think the same way, and that’s perfectly ok.
I so appreciate you coming over and reading, along with dropping a note! Happy engagement, wedding day, and marriage! XOXO
Jesica
You are a good writer. We own a cottage http://www.thelittlestonecottage.com and there we provide notebooks with good articles about marriage. So enjoyed your article on how to make your husband happy to come home and would like permission to make one copy to put in the notebook. Also would like to invite you two to spend time at this very special place on us in exchange for a bit of coverage on your site and the use of the this and other articles.
Hello there! Yes of course, feel free to include this article in your notebook, making sure it shows credit somewhere on the copy of https://fantabulosity.com Thank you!
Aw, you’re so sweet! I checked out The Little Stone Cottage, and it looks amazingly sweet! I’ll send you an email very soon to see if we can work something out! 🙂 Thank you so much! XO
Good Evening, I hope you and your family are well! I enjoyed your article and thank you for sharing some great advice! I am a woman who believes that providing an amazing, loving, welcoming home for your husband to come home to is a must in a marriage for him to ‘want’ to come home. I think far too many get caught up in the tit for tat, when love and a relationship is not about what you are getting, it’s about giving unconditional love to someone else. I can’t think of a more deserving, beautiful human being to shower our love to than the man you married! Mucho xoxo ❤️
Hi Kristi! Thank you so much for commenting! I love how you put that… “tit for tat,” because it’s so true. I’ve found myself thinking that way at times too, and I have to reel it back in and remember what love is all about. Thank you for stopping by, and for leaving a note! XO
Hi I have just read your post about 5 simple ways to make your husband want to come home…thank you it’s always fills me with love to hear about couples who are happy and work at maintaining the joy in their marriage.
My husband is working overseas for a few years and we do the work to make that as good an experience for both of us as possible…I feel so much gratitude to him for the life he gives me as a result of that hard work of his…and I was searching the net to find new ways to show my gratitude…while he is away…I am about to order some flowers to send to his office there…
we spend Saturday and Sunday mornings making and having breakfast and long chats on Viber/Skype as if we’re at home…it’s a wonderful new world isn’t it?
kindest thoughts
Jude
Hi Jude! Oh wow… you’re an inspiration to me and so many others I’m sure. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I admire your commitment and gratitude in your marriage. So so refreshing to see/read. XOXO
I agree with all of this. My husband works in a very demanding profession and I like to create an oasis for him when he comes home.
The last hour before he arrives is devoted to preparing for my husband to walk through the door. I save my shower for that time so that I’m fresh when my husband comes home. I spritz perfume on my pulse points and pick out an outfit that he loves to see me in. The outfit could be a dress, lingerie or form fitting work out gear. I do not let my husband see me in pajamas when he comes home unless I am ill. I take the time to curl my hair as well. I make sure that I go to the door with a smile and give my husband a passionate kiss.
Our marriage improved greatly when I became a housewife. I am no longer stressed out and I have become a much better cook. I love your blog!
Aw wow!! You’re such an inspiration! This is incredible. I could take some of your tips for sure. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing, and for the kind words! Thank you for coming by too! XOXO
I totally can relate to this, me and my husband don’t have kids but have been married for 4 years and been together for 13 years as the years go by I always think of ways to make our marriage great although it’s hard at times since he’s a pilot here in Dubai ( I actually see him more now then back home in California. Which is good but it’s hard at times cause he is always focus on work or on his new mustang he just bought .
Hi. I would like u to help me pray for my husband who left me with 2 kids, its been a while now and i really love him children also miss him. We used to be happy , like really happy going out.but now my children cry all the time wants dad.He calls everyday morning and aftrnoon, he says he loves me.but when i ask him to visit him he alwyz hv excuses. When he shuld come visit us his car is alwys broken.Pls help me pray find him bck.the sooner the better pls.cz chldrn wnts to go stay with him.
Hello, I will pray for you. I know that God is gonna put your relationship back together, you will be happy in 2019. I declare it in the name of Jesus.
Love
Temille
Well I love the post for loves us all equal but we as wives were put her to help an love an respected our husbands I think it’s awesome that there are still ppl out here that respect an love there husbands an if you do so there will show the same back love your post
Aw, thank you so much!! I appreciate you coming by to read, and to even drop a note to say that. 🙂 Have a wonderful day! XO
Great post. Sad that you felt forced to add the explanation/justification at the top.
Hi,
I’m new to this whole marriage thing… interesting post loved the empathic narrative. Tough to relate to however, as we are both newly weds with no children. We both are fully invested in our careers and equally contributing financially to our household. With that being said we but heads quite a bit. It’s not a power struggle if you will, it’s a matter of respect because we both feel entitled (rightfully so) to our opinions and objectives… we work hard for what’s ours. It’s easy to push to much and really annoy the other person to the point where he or I walk out the door without explanation. It’s tough to balance self respect with compromise. I known in marriage the key is to choose your battles … but everyone has a tipping point. The guilt that lingers once the silence insues is enough to destroy any shread of self worth ya have after defending yourself and in doing so pushing your partner right out the door (well he left on his own accord for the record.) When you’re married to your colleague / best friend it can be difficult getting and giving the respect you and they deserve. I suppose reguardless of the situation I’m sure many folks share the same pain points as my husband and I.