WHEW! There are some brutal people out there! Ever since I published this post, it has gone crazy viral and some of you are NOT afraid to speak your mind. So I feel I must explain my intentions with this post, to explain where I’m coming from.
My husband is very good to me, and does extremely nice things for me. So in return, and out of respect, I like to do nice things for him.
Have you ever heard someone say,
Be the wife your husband can’t wait to come home to at night?
No? Yes? I’ve heard it a million times, and I always try to keep advice in my head. As I would hope my husband would think the visa versa. Right?
So I began to think,
What are some things that he would love, to really make him feel special?
and this post was born.
No people, I’m not saying rewind 60 years and be a Stepford Wife. I’m just saying what I like to do for my husband to show my appreciation, and I would very well expect respect in return. Right?
So let’s carry on with this post, and maybe all of the bullies will stop “hating,” on this post. If not… sorry. This is something that works well in my marriage, and I hope it can give someone else great ideas too! If not, I’d LOVE to hear what works in your marriage. Every marriage is different.
You May Also Love This Marriage Talk:
- 29 Tips on How to Be a Good Wife
- How to Respect Your Husband
- What to do When Your Husband Doesn’t Come Home
Back to the post:
It may be a husband who is in the military and is coming home after a year stay overseas, a husband that has only been gone for 3 days, or a husband that is coming home after a long day at work.
(P.S. You gals that have husbands gone for a super long time, I COMPLETELY adore your strength.)
A little behind the scenes…
My husband owns his own company, and like many other professions, those days as a CEO of a large company, can be excruciating. There’s nothing more that I want to do when he comes home, than to show him my appreciation for working hard. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying I don’t work hard.
I’m a stay at home mom, and I run and operate THIS… my blog. But I AM saying that I want to make our home a place that he’s excited to come home to, every night. ESPECIALLY when he’s been gone for a few days.
How to Make Your Husband WANT to Come Home:
So how do I do this so-called, “making him happy to come home,” thang?
Just don’t ask my husband, because he may tell you different. Haha! Kidding. Only kidding.
His love language.
Every husband is different. If you read my post on the secret to a marriage, then you know that everyone has their “language,” that speaks to their heart. (Some husbands, may have more than one.) Read up on what your husbands love language is, and think about something that would fulfill that language that he speaks! 😉 You can buy the book “The Five Love Languages” HERE!
Be positive.
Yes, I know real-life happens, and sometimes life throws us some curveballs. The kids were acting awful, the lawn-mower chucked a rock at the dining room window, or the bank account is in the red because it’s been a rough month. But keeping a positive attitude when he walks through that door, can really help for the later part in the evening when it’s time to have a conversation about the not-so-fun things. So when he walks through the door, maybe wait just a bit before you throw up all of the “uglies” at him.
Send him love notes.
Once a day, I will try to remember to send him a love note, through text. Yeah yeah yeah… I could get up early, write him a sweet note, and stick it in his coffee cup sleeve… but that’s not going to happen. So when breakfast is over, the kids are playing on their own, I’ll send my hubby a little love note, through a text. “How did I get so lucky to deserve you?” Or something like, “I can’t wait to see you when you get home.” That little “surprise” with something nice can really make his day.
Ask him.
In the evening after the kids are off to bed, many times, I’ll ask him:
I’m grabbing something to drink, do you want something?
Or before he leaves for work, I may ask him:
I’m pretty free today. Is there anything you need help with?
Not only are you doing something nice for him by offering to help him… you may also figure out some of the types of things he likes for you to do for him. He may say something like:
You wouldn’t have time to take my truck for an oil change would you? Or I’ll have to take it on Saturday, and miss the little guy’s soccer game.
What?! Who knew? I thought he liked getting out of the house on Saturday mornings by himself to get the oil changed.
Get fancy-schmancy.
Now Mom, (my mom), you may want to stop reading here. I may say some things that you don’t want to read or know about your daughter.
(Mom… you’re still reading aren’t you? You’re such a rebel.)
As a mom, I’m usually jumping in the shower as quick as I can, while my kids sit in the bathroom floor. So tending to my female upkeep, can be considered a rare and special occasion. 🙂 Shave those legs. Don’t forget the armpits, and whatever else you shave. Paint those toe-nails. Put on that lotion that’s supposed entice your hubby in to the sheets. (But like he needs a lotion from Victoria Secret to put him in the mood.) Put on that “Woah Baby,” outfit you bought at the mall a year ago that you’ve been dreading, putting on. And surprise him with a raring and ready to go attitude. Every man may be different, but I have a feeling most would appreciate this one. 😉
Wrap Up.
I so hope I didn’t offend you, but rather give you some ideas to try and show your husband that you love and care for him. I’d love to hear what you think below! But please remember, I’m human. I’m not a computer. So although I want you to be honest, I would love for you to also be kind. XOXO
Just remember…”Be the woman your husband can’t wait to come home to.”
As a mom, wife, sister, friend, employee, boss, and whatever else society calls you… we sometimes need to be reminded what it is that makes us happy, so we can fulfill our duties with the best intentions and the way we choose and want.
DISCLAIMER from the owner/founder: “I fail each day, trying to be the “best,” mom, wife, sister, and friend. But if I can be intentional & recognize one LITTLE thing that I accomplished that day… I can be “happy,” with that, and should celebrate it.”
Mary Emsweller says
Jessica,
You are definitely on target! Don’t worry about the haters. They will always exist. I have been married for 32 years and I can tell you the love language approach works like a charm. When other women complain about their husbands (believe me I don’t know very many of those women as I steer clear of constant complaining. It can mean death to a marriage). Anyway, I always say, “Do you always want to be right or do you want the relationship?” The only woman who ever answered the question with “I’ll have to think about it!” Was my mother-in-law who married twice and divorced twice never to marry again. Need I say more? The man you married was worth your best while you were dating so isn’t he worth keeping?
Thanks for the tips!
Mary
Jessica says
Aw, thank you Mary! I love your insight and thank you so much for leaving an encouraging note for all of us! 🙂
Cathy says
Greetings My Dear I Truly Enjoyed It .Very Pleasant And Loving Things I Didn’t Have In My First Or Second Marriage . But When My Third Husband Find Me I Will Have All Of That And More When My Sexy Strong Tall Intelligent Loving Man Comes Home All He See Is Me All I See Is Him Can’t Hardly Wait So Come Get Me My Love. I’m Waiting On You ❤
Emily says
Hi,
I’m new to this whole marriage thing… interesting post loved the empathic narrative. Tough to relate to however, as we are both newly weds with no children. We both are fully invested in our careers and equally contributing financially to our household. With that being said we but heads quite a bit. It’s not a power struggle if you will, it’s a matter of respect because we both feel entitled (rightfully so) to our opinions and objectives… we work hard for what’s ours. It’s easy to push to much and really annoy the other person to the point where he or I walk out the door without explanation. It’s tough to balance self respect with compromise. I known in marriage the key is to choose your battles … but everyone has a tipping point. The guilt that lingers once the silence insues is enough to destroy any shread of self worth ya have after defending yourself and in doing so pushing your partner right out the door (well he left on his own accord for the record.) When you’re married to your colleague / best friend it can be difficult getting and giving the respect you and they deserve. I suppose reguardless of the situation I’m sure many folks share the same pain points as my husband and I.
David says
Great post. Sad that you felt forced to add the explanation/justification at the top.
Nicole says
Well I love the post for loves us all equal but we as wives were put her to help an love an respected our husbands I think it’s awesome that there are still ppl out here that respect an love there husbands an if you do so there will show the same back love your post
Jessica says
Aw, thank you so much!! I appreciate you coming by to read, and to even drop a note to say that. 🙂 Have a wonderful day! XO
manese says
Hi. I would like u to help me pray for my husband who left me with 2 kids, its been a while now and i really love him children also miss him. We used to be happy , like really happy going out.but now my children cry all the time wants dad.He calls everyday morning and aftrnoon, he says he loves me.but when i ask him to visit him he alwyz hv excuses. When he shuld come visit us his car is alwys broken.Pls help me pray find him bck.the sooner the better pls.cz chldrn wnts to go stay with him.
Temille says
Hello, I will pray for you. I know that God is gonna put your relationship back together, you will be happy in 2019. I declare it in the name of Jesus.
Love
Temille
Maribel Diehl says
I totally can relate to this, me and my husband don’t have kids but have been married for 4 years and been together for 13 years as the years go by I always think of ways to make our marriage great although it’s hard at times since he’s a pilot here in Dubai ( I actually see him more now then back home in California. Which is good but it’s hard at times cause he is always focus on work or on his new mustang he just bought .
Hartley says
I agree with all of this. My husband works in a very demanding profession and I like to create an oasis for him when he comes home.
The last hour before he arrives is devoted to preparing for my husband to walk through the door. I save my shower for that time so that I’m fresh when my husband comes home. I spritz perfume on my pulse points and pick out an outfit that he loves to see me in. The outfit could be a dress, lingerie or form fitting work out gear. I do not let my husband see me in pajamas when he comes home unless I am ill. I take the time to curl my hair as well. I make sure that I go to the door with a smile and give my husband a passionate kiss.
Our marriage improved greatly when I became a housewife. I am no longer stressed out and I have become a much better cook. I love your blog!
Jessica says
Aw wow!! You’re such an inspiration! This is incredible. I could take some of your tips for sure. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing, and for the kind words! Thank you for coming by too! XOXO
Jude says
Hi I have just read your post about 5 simple ways to make your husband want to come home…thank you it’s always fills me with love to hear about couples who are happy and work at maintaining the joy in their marriage.
My husband is working overseas for a few years and we do the work to make that as good an experience for both of us as possible…I feel so much gratitude to him for the life he gives me as a result of that hard work of his…and I was searching the net to find new ways to show my gratitude…while he is away…I am about to order some flowers to send to his office there…
we spend Saturday and Sunday mornings making and having breakfast and long chats on Viber/Skype as if we’re at home…it’s a wonderful new world isn’t it?
kindest thoughts
Jude
Jessica says
Hi Jude! Oh wow… you’re an inspiration to me and so many others I’m sure. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I admire your commitment and gratitude in your marriage. So so refreshing to see/read. XOXO
Kristi says
Good Evening, I hope you and your family are well! I enjoyed your article and thank you for sharing some great advice! I am a woman who believes that providing an amazing, loving, welcoming home for your husband to come home to is a must in a marriage for him to ‘want’ to come home. I think far too many get caught up in the tit for tat, when love and a relationship is not about what you are getting, it’s about giving unconditional love to someone else. I can’t think of a more deserving, beautiful human being to shower our love to than the man you married! Mucho xoxo ❤️
Jessica says
Hi Kristi! Thank you so much for commenting! I love how you put that… “tit for tat,” because it’s so true. I’ve found myself thinking that way at times too, and I have to reel it back in and remember what love is all about. Thank you for stopping by, and for leaving a note! XO
Roman says
Jesica
You are a good writer. We own a cottage http://www.thelittlestonecottage.com and there we provide notebooks with good articles about marriage. So enjoyed your article on how to make your husband happy to come home and would like permission to make one copy to put in the notebook. Also would like to invite you two to spend time at this very special place on us in exchange for a bit of coverage on your site and the use of the this and other articles.
Jessica says
Hello there! Yes of course, feel free to include this article in your notebook, making sure it shows credit somewhere on the copy of https://fantabulosity.com Thank you!
Aw, you’re so sweet! I checked out The Little Stone Cottage, and it looks amazingly sweet! I’ll send you an email very soon to see if we can work something out! 🙂 Thank you so much! XO
Liz says
Thanks for this post! I am engaged, but am really excited to start implementing these things! My favorite thing is to see my man smile, so I don’t understand why people would be upset over these things rather than try to do some of them to make their partner happy. You can’t be selfish in relationships, so it makes me sad that the attitude is a lot of “well they don’t do that for me”. And in my experience, if you do the nice things first, your partner is sure to follow! Not that I am perfect, but I am happier when my man is happy to see me! Then again, I’m not even married yet :). I’m sorry some comments hurt you, they would have hurt me too! Anyway, you really encouraged this bride to be!
Jessica says
Awww, congratulations on your engagement! Thank you so much for the sweet and encouraging email!
Well, we are all different people on this planet, so I tend to tell myself over and over again since this post,that we don’t all think the same way, and that’s perfectly ok.
I so appreciate you coming over and reading, along with dropping a note! Happy engagement, wedding day, and marriage! XOXO
Jess says
I totally agree with you.! I always put my husband first. I meet him at the door and kiss him after work. I make sure to have dinner done and serve it to him in his favorite chair. I think you are an amazing person and you have a cute family if you don’t mind me saying so. There is nothing wrong with your blog. Don’t worry about rude people they just don’t understand what it is to be kind and full heartedly care for someone and put themselves on the backburner for a minute. No offense to anyone here. I just think it is rude and cruel to hurt someone that is just trying to help those that may need the insight. If you don’t like what the post says don’t read it. You don’t have to be mean to her for writing it. I think it is great what you are trying to do. It sounds like we have alot in common when it comes to our hubbies . Keep writing!
Jessica says
Aw, thank you Jess! That means a lot. It DOES sound like we have a lot in common!! Although some days are harder than others, to try and remember to do some of these, I sure try. And what a difference it makes in my day too! Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a note!
Lisa says
I see nothing wrong with this post ?? Ignore haters and “stepford wife” visualizers! We forget so easily that the little things matter a lot, and this is a nice reminder of that. I used to hide little love notes in my husband’s stuff and date it with the day/month/year. Sometimes he’d find it a day later, and once he found it two years later lol it meant a lot and he saved every one of them. But now with the craziness of day to day life, a text will suffice!
Jessica says
Thank you Lisa! Awww… secret love notes are such a fun idea!! That’s hilarious that he didn’t find it until 2 years later too!! It may have come at the perfect time! 🙂 Thanks for coming by and dropping a note!
Andria says
Thank you for posting this awesome blog! I’m gonna implement them when hubby gets home from working abroad next month.
Jessica says
You’re SO welcome Andria! Thank YOU so much for dropping a sweet comment! Have so much fun when he gets home!! XO
Kathleen L. says
Haters gonna hate no matter what, sucks to be them. I agree with you on this post 100%. Love it, Love it!
Jessica says
You’re so sweet Kathleen! Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a note! XO
Tina says
I feel the love you have for each other! If you make the love for him run over you stand underneath it and in return you get the overflow from him! Don’t take any notice of the others, you just love the way you want too and stuff the rest, if it makes you happy to swing from chandeliers so what? Your marriage, your rules, all kudos to you both
Jessica says
Awww… I love this! Thank you so much for your encouragement and comments. The older that I get, the more I realize it’s easier to just do what we think is best for us! 🙂 Thank you again! XO
Leanne says
This is beautiful! I love the little “Ask Him” part…really made me realize that he does this for me all the time! Thanks for this, I totally came across this blog by accident. I have an amazing husband :’)
Jessica says
Awww! I LOVE hearing this. So happy that you accidentally came by. Those are always my favorite. 🙂 So happy for you, and thank you so much for dropping a note! XO
Kristen says
I know im coming into this pretty late, but I LOVED YOUR POST!!! I found this to be very encouraging as a stay at home mom. I do apologize for the ones who didnt understand the message you were trying to convey and misconstrued it into something else. I will now become an avid follower!!!
Kary Leach says
Awww, thank you so much!! XO
Daphne says
My thoughts were just the same. I feel you 100%. Glad I just so happened to be going through issues and found the right blog!!
Debbie says
You are lucky if you have a husband who responds to you with kindness and affectionI and makes you feel loved. I wish I had one. Yes, for over 25 years I bent over backwards for him. I don’t anymore, got tired of giving and never receiving any love in return, by the way we have been married for over 37 years. So count your lucky stars if you have a husband who shows you love and affection.
Jessica says
Hi Debbie! Thank you for leaving a note! I’m sorry for the struggles that you’ve had. I’m very thankful I’m married to someone to tries just as hard as I do, to make things a little easier in a marriage! Best wishes for you! XO