WHEW! There are some brutal people out there! Ever since I published this post, it has gone crazy viral and some of you are NOT afraid to speak your mind. So I feel I must explain my intentions with this post, to explain where I’m coming from.
My husband is very good to me, and does extremely nice things for me. So in return, and out of respect, I like to do nice things for him.
Have you ever heard someone say,
Be the wife your husband can’t wait to come home to at night?
No? Yes? I’ve heard it a million times, and I always try to keep advice in my head. As I would hope my husband would think the visa versa. Right?
So I began to think,
What are some things that he would love, to really make him feel special?
and this post was born.
No people, I’m not saying rewind 60 years and be a Stepford Wife. I’m just saying what I like to do for my husband to show my appreciation, and I would very well expect respect in return. Right?
So let’s carry on with this post, and maybe all of the bullies will stop “hating,” on this post. If not… sorry. This is something that works well in my marriage, and I hope it can give someone else great ideas too! If not, I’d LOVE to hear what works in your marriage. Every marriage is different.
You May Also Love This Marriage Talk:
- 29 Tips on How to Be a Good Wife
- How to Respect Your Husband
- What to do When Your Husband Doesn’t Come Home
Back to the post:
It may be a husband who is in the military and is coming home after a year stay overseas, a husband that has only been gone for 3 days, or a husband that is coming home after a long day at work.
(P.S. You gals that have husbands gone for a super long time, I COMPLETELY adore your strength.)
A little behind the scenes…
My husband owns his own company, and like many other professions, those days as a CEO of a large company, can be excruciating. There’s nothing more that I want to do when he comes home, than to show him my appreciation for working hard. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying I don’t work hard.
I’m a stay at home mom, and I run and operate THIS… my blog. But I AM saying that I want to make our home a place that he’s excited to come home to, every night. ESPECIALLY when he’s been gone for a few days.
How to Make Your Husband WANT to Come Home:
So how do I do this so-called, “making him happy to come home,” thang?
Just don’t ask my husband, because he may tell you different. Haha! Kidding. Only kidding.
His love language.
Every husband is different. If you read my post on the secret to a marriage, then you know that everyone has their “language,” that speaks to their heart. (Some husbands, may have more than one.) Read up on what your husbands love language is, and think about something that would fulfill that language that he speaks! 😉 You can buy the book “The Five Love Languages” HERE!
Be positive.
Yes, I know real-life happens, and sometimes life throws us some curveballs. The kids were acting awful, the lawn-mower chucked a rock at the dining room window, or the bank account is in the red because it’s been a rough month. But keeping a positive attitude when he walks through that door, can really help for the later part in the evening when it’s time to have a conversation about the not-so-fun things. So when he walks through the door, maybe wait just a bit before you throw up all of the “uglies” at him.
Send him love notes.
Once a day, I will try to remember to send him a love note, through text. Yeah yeah yeah… I could get up early, write him a sweet note, and stick it in his coffee cup sleeve… but that’s not going to happen. So when breakfast is over, the kids are playing on their own, I’ll send my hubby a little love note, through a text. “How did I get so lucky to deserve you?” Or something like, “I can’t wait to see you when you get home.” That little “surprise” with something nice can really make his day.
Ask him.
In the evening after the kids are off to bed, many times, I’ll ask him:
I’m grabbing something to drink, do you want something?
Or before he leaves for work, I may ask him:
I’m pretty free today. Is there anything you need help with?
Not only are you doing something nice for him by offering to help him… you may also figure out some of the types of things he likes for you to do for him. He may say something like:
You wouldn’t have time to take my truck for an oil change would you? Or I’ll have to take it on Saturday, and miss the little guy’s soccer game.
What?! Who knew? I thought he liked getting out of the house on Saturday mornings by himself to get the oil changed.
Get fancy-schmancy.
Now Mom, (my mom), you may want to stop reading here. I may say some things that you don’t want to read or know about your daughter.
(Mom… you’re still reading aren’t you? You’re such a rebel.)
As a mom, I’m usually jumping in the shower as quick as I can, while my kids sit in the bathroom floor. So tending to my female upkeep, can be considered a rare and special occasion. 🙂 Shave those legs. Don’t forget the armpits, and whatever else you shave. Paint those toe-nails. Put on that lotion that’s supposed entice your hubby in to the sheets. (But like he needs a lotion from Victoria Secret to put him in the mood.) Put on that “Woah Baby,” outfit you bought at the mall a year ago that you’ve been dreading, putting on. And surprise him with a raring and ready to go attitude. Every man may be different, but I have a feeling most would appreciate this one. 😉
Wrap Up.
I so hope I didn’t offend you, but rather give you some ideas to try and show your husband that you love and care for him. I’d love to hear what you think below! But please remember, I’m human. I’m not a computer. So although I want you to be honest, I would love for you to also be kind. XOXO
Just remember…”Be the woman your husband can’t wait to come home to.”
As a mom, wife, sister, friend, employee, boss, and whatever else society calls you… we sometimes need to be reminded what it is that makes us happy, so we can fulfill our duties with the best intentions and the way we choose and want.
DISCLAIMER from the owner/founder: “I fail each day, trying to be the “best,” mom, wife, sister, and friend. But if I can be intentional & recognize one LITTLE thing that I accomplished that day… I can be “happy,” with that, and should celebrate it.”
Kat says
Thank you for sharing what works for you! I can relate to this cause I’m a stay at home mom while my husband works.Wish I have the patience to do all this , even though i feel like doing nice things and kind of be romantic , after a long day of spending time with my 4 year old( I don’t have any household help or nanny and my parents live out of country) it seems like I just don’t have it remained in me to be ‘nice’ . Don’t mistake that I don’t like spending time with my daughter, I do love her a lot ! Some days are easy and some are hard and it shows in the way I speak and respond to my husband and honestly I really feel bad from inside. Sometimes we have issues regarding this and every time it’s the same reason, I’m not saying our marriage is troubled ( we do have good moments), it’s just I wish it was more romantic and smooth . I wish my husband thinks about me the same way- to do something special for me once in a while, after all I’m your kid’s mother and moms are not machines! But thing is we both are simple and down to earth people, we feel guilty to indulge in overselves. Hope it passes and there will be days when we can both enjoy some quality time together just holding hands and walking in the sunsets with not a thing to worry about!!
Jessica says
Thank you SO much for sharing your story Kat. Really. And please know that I SO get it, and understand it. The energy is GONE at the end of the day, isn’t it? I can completely relate. Are you able to have a date night once in a while? (Even with a sitter that may not be family, but is someone that you know and trust?) Date nights have been so good for us! But totally understand they can be hard to achieve or make happen!
jen hurd says
First time I have ever commented online, so bear with me haha. I appreciated what u wrote! everyday when I walk through the door after work my husband smiles and says “hi sweetheart” and you know what I do? I do not smile and a grunt a hello!!!! what the heck is that! You actually made me realize what I was doing. Who would want to come home to that I ask you?Starting today ill make the effort all because I read your story and yes sometimes people do need a little reminding, so thank you!
Jessica says
Awww, I’m SO happy to have you comment on here! I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond. I failed at the quickness on this one. Lol! I’m tickled that you found it helpful, and I hope you get the chance to write back and tell me if you’ve given it a try! I’d love to hear from you again! 🙂
Kelly Gardner says
Your blog is completely on target. Women would be amazed if they just try it – treating your husband the way you want him to treat you – simple courtesies, making your home is oasis/his nest, reaching out to him unexpectedly, asking him if you can help him – in short – being the best wife you can be. Once you behave this way, you’ll be surprised by how he responds and behaves in return. I once read this book “Becoming the Woman of His Dreams” which embodies alot of the principles you speak of at a time when my marriage was more like spending time with a roommate. It worked and 5 or 6 years later it’s still working. I’ve been with my husband 28 years and we’re better than ever. This philopshy is what works. It’s not bowing down to a man – it’s being loving, courteous, and kind and a little flirty. Write on!
Jessica says
You’re so sweet. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, AND read it! Love your comments. I have to agree, sometimes just making those small adjustments can change the day to day, so much! I love hearing that it’s been working for you too! And thank you for the encouragement to keep writing! I may just do another one today! 😉 XOXO
Krystal Puentes says
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. There are still some women out here that need to read something like this to remind them that life shouldn’t get in the way everyday and your partners happiness still matters. I’m definitely grateful that I came across this read. Bless your heart honey <3
Jessica says
Awww, thank you so much Krystal! That means a lot! I was hoping it would provide help out there to someone, even myself! Some days it’s nice to go back and read it myself! 🙂 Thank you for dropping a note! XO
Catherine Aquin says
Never let anyone rent space in your head for free!!
I believe in assuming positive intent. Those haters obviously have very poor lives and therefore we need to acknowledge them and move on. You sound like a wonderful person, trying to do the right things and taking the time to really sit down and think about someone else. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone did that!! This world would be a much nicer place!
Keep doing what you are doing and keep your head up and don’t spend any time on trying to decipher what haters meant…as they say, Haters gotta Hate. Not letting people rent space in your head for free is liberating!!!
Jessica says
Thank you Catherine! That means a lot! I love how we all have opinions… that’s what makes this world go around, right!? 🙂 Thank you for your sweet words! XOXO
Karina says
I think the problem many people have with this post is that doesn’t say much about marriage equality. It assumes that you have a great husband that obviously does nice things for you so you have to do them back. Not to mention that the word “nice” is a temporary word, it makes things sound very 50’s housewife. Respect, love, and cherish each other. Be equal to one another. Don’t be nice because he “works so hard” be nice because you love him. Don’t “stay positive” because apparently that will “make him come home” do it because it’s a great way to think, destresses you, and has a lot health benefits attached to it. And especially don’t do anything to “please” your husband if he isn’t doing it back. Don’t shave your legs everyday and put on a wow outfit if he isn’t shaving his face everyday and cooking at least one meal per day. I come from a military background where a lot of woman acted like this. You know what happened to them? They became overworked, underapreciated, and made a lot of excuses for their husbands. Treat each other with love and care because you love and care for each other. Not because someone on the Internet said it will help your husband come home. Also if your husband isn’t coming home happy ASK WHY. Don’t go on the Internet for answers, talk to him.
Jessica says
Absolutely! I think marriage equality is so important! Thank you coming by and leaving a comment!
Michelle says
I absolutely LOVED this. It’s the simple things that makes them love coming home. Whenever my husband or I leaves or comes home there’s a kiss. It’s just a must!
Jessica says
Awww! Yes!!! I love the simple things! They can mean SO much! Thank you so much for coming by, and dropping a sweet note!
Stephanie says
Love this post! I am always trying to see a new perspective or get more ideas. I tend to forget to tend to myself when I am with the kids all day. I just realized how I look right now is not the greatest, even though he will come straight into the kitchen and give me a kiss when he gets home regardless it is still nice to try and freshen up before he gets here.
Jessica says
Aww, thank you so much! Hey, it’s SOOO easy to forget to tend to ourselves, when we are responsible for the well being of others! Haha! So glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for leaving a comment!
Kate says
It’s extremely sad that people have to be told to be nice to their husbands. And then when they are told, they get all snippy. This is where so many divorces come from. If we weren’t so into ourselves (men and women alike) we wouldn’t have all these issues. You’re a unit, and if you want respect, you need to give it.
I love my husband dearly and try my hardest to make him happy. I don’t work nearly as long of hours as he does, but I do my best to continue working at the house – cleaning, cooking, taking care of the animals (no kids yet) and working on my home businesses while he’s off defending the country. While he was gone for 6 months last year, I made sure to let him know how much he was appreciated and loved as often as I could because it gets so disheartening over there and all he wanted to do was come home. It broke my heart but I wasn’t going to let him know that because I wanted to be able to lift his spirits, not make it worse for him that I missed him so much. He knew I did, I didn’t have to tell him, but telling him I loved him every day made him feel better – so I did that. I made him want to make those 6 months fly by so he could come home to me.
And while your post might be “common sense” to some, it’s always good to have a reminder when life gets tough. And obviously needs to be told to others who think being nice means you’re a servant.
Thank you for your post !
Jessica says
Thank you so much for your comment! What a great story! Please tell him that I thank him for his service! I agree, reminders are nice. Even being the one that wrote it, I still need to re-read it at times to remember. 🙂 Have a great day!
Cara says
Wow, it is sad if this post offended people. I can’t imagine what their marriages are like or even friendships. All your advice is basic parts of a happy marriage. Like with every person if your husband treats you well and with respect he certainly deserves to be treated the same. It isn’t like you said bow down and kiss his feet when he walks in the door.
Jessica says
Well I thought the same, but you’d be surprise that I’m STILL getting messages and comments on social media… that’s not so nice, about this post. :/ Thank you for dropping a note about what you think!
Nicole Elliott says
Yey for a good post going viral—boo to the haters (but hey, it makes for good traffic either way 😉 ) Definitely amazing tips–I try hard to keep these in our marriage to keep my hubby happy to come home, too! 🙂
Jessica says
AWWW, thank you for the comment Nicole! Haha, this is TRUE about traffic. Lol! Oh good! “Trying” is the key word there for me! I try to remember to do these daily too! 😉 Thanks again! XO
Nina says
I love this post. What’s so wrong with showing love, appreciation and genuinely just wanting to put a smile on your husband’s face? Men crave love just as much as we do and I tell myself this all the time, “you get what you give”. If I give love I get love. When you’re vulnerable with him, he notices. He responds in a nurturing manner. It makes him want to be there for you just as much. I love this post, please continue to give us tips in just about anything. Thanks for sharing!
Jessica says
I completely agree Nina. Thank you so much for the comment. I can’t WAIT to show him love, and I love that he’s excited to come home to me every night! 🙂 Thank you so much for coming by and dropping a note!
Christiana says
This post is wonderful ! These are excellent reminders for me. My husband is out on the road all week , every week and I am very intentional about not dumping anything on him until we have had time to spend just being together again after a long week, especially being together as a family. Even then I don’t ever “dump” anything on him, especially not our kids. Knowing his love language is huge! It goes a long way in making those hardworking men of ours feel loved and appreciated! 🙂
Jessica says
Oh goodness… I totally commend you! I know there are a lot of women out there with husbands who work over the road, travel a lot, or are even gone for long periods of time. Love your view point of how you handle it too! Thank you for sharing!!!
Sarah @ Not That Sarah Michelle says
I agree with you on some of these points. I do my best to make my husband feel good about coming home. It’s hard, however, when you suffer from depression and have many times when you just feel like he should be anywhere else but home, because you don’t want to be there. I AM, however, going to try to take some of these suggestions and apply them. I may not be able to do all 5, but there are some I absolutely can do.
Jessica says
Hi Sarah! Oh of course!!! I don’t believe anyone can do all of these all of the time! I sure can’t! Haha!! So glad you came by!
Patty says
i am just finishing the book “His Needs, Her Needs”. I really recommend it to everyone! In just a few days of using some of the ideas in it there is such a difference. It deals with these same kinds of ideas
Jessica says
Ahhh! I’ll have to read that book! I’ve never heard of it, but it sounds like something that I’d love to read! Thank you!
Yvonne says
This post was a great reminder. Often I forget to be appreciative and loving due to the stress of everyday. Thanks again. Can’t wait to put a smile in his heart and face today.
Jessica says
Yaaaay! I’m so glad! Thank you so much for coming by and reading! Would love to hear how it goes or any other ideas you came up with! 🙂
Nadene says
I just love this! Simple. Basic. The small things. I’m a full time working mom of 3 AND we have a part time catering company which my hubby and I run together so we are exhauseted ALL THE TIME and it’s so easy to wear the exhausted face all the time. But, my hubby said the other day nothing makes him happier than coming home to a smile, so I try to give him at least that because we both worked hard and he walks into the door with a smile so the least I can do is return the favour… thanks for the reminder!
Jessica says
Awwwww! Yay! I’m so glad that you liked it! You’re right. Sometimes we forget to do the small & simple things… or we go completely overboard trying too hard, when in reality… they probably just want the small things. 🙂 Thank you so much for coming by, and dropping a sweet note! I hope you come back again! XOXO
pdxharpist says
Haters gonna hate. They didn’t get the essence of what you were trying to say. I personally am the #1 income for my partnership working a full time job as an employment/income development coordinator and housing case mgr for people experiencing homelessness during the week and a professional musician on the weekends, my partner working at a bike shop. I still manage to find a moment in my day to sneak an emoticon or sweet text to him and try to bake some simple sweet treat every couple of weeks so we always have something healthy and fresh in the house. In return my partner does so many big and little lovely surprises back.
Jessica says
Oh wow! Thank you so much for your story! I love it! Love how you do the little things… sometimes they can mean the most! 🙂
Ss says
Hii, love the post…thanks for sharing .
Jessica says
Awww, thank you! Thank you so much for stopping by & leaving a note! 🙂
Tricia says
Such a great reminder how to be loving and considerate, such simple ways to make our hubbies love to come home, more importantly the first things that fly out the window and make them not want to come home! I know I would love these if our roles were reversed! Thank you for writing this little reminder in such a careful, thought out way. No minimizing of anyone’s roles. I never understand the cruel comments….
Jessica says
Thank you so much for coming over Tricia! I totally agree! It means a lot that you dropped a note! Thanks so much!