How to respect your husband and How it May Save Your Marriage – Respecting our husband is HARD at times, but it could be what saves our relationships.
How to Respect Your Husband & How it May Save a Marriage
Respecting my husband. I’m awful at it.
Can I get real with you for a minute? Our 9 year wedding anniversary (but 19 years together) is coming up this week. For all of those years, I THOUGHT I respected my husband. I’d even argue the fact when we would get in to quarrels.
I mean, in my head I did respect him for some areas in life. But my “always having to be right” attitude/personality crippled me/us more than I realized. Or the thought of “Well he’s my husband and my boy’s dad… it’s his job. He should HAVE to help/do this for me,” would become my snotty attitude.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m talking “past tense” in this post, because I’m still struggling and learning about respecting my husband today.
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So Why the “How to Respect Your Husband” Jargon?
I started reading the book “Love and Respect,” (Thank you to who referred this book to me) a few weeks ago, and I haven’t even reached the part where it gives us tips on how to respect my husband.
BUT… it has covered WHY it is so stinking important in a marriage, and what kind of crazy good returns it can have when we respect our husbands. Our husbands want/NEED respect from us, while we want “love” from our husbands.
“Respect Testing”
Now, I’ve started “testing,” if you will… being super intentional about respecting my husband, and holy smokes ladies. We still don’t have a perfect marriage, and we still get in to quarrels… but the closeness and husband superhero-tendencies, have REALLY shown through as an outcome of this respect practicing.
Perhaps I’m noticing these changes because he really does feel respected, so he’s showing me more love in the process… or it could also be that my mental mindset of respecting him has shifted, instead of focusing on what he does wrong and how I feel that he’s not loving me in certain ways. Whatever it is… I’ll take it.
For Real… Read It.
So do I think you need to read the book? YES.
Do you hate to read? I do. Here’s what I did…
Since I despise reading, I downloaded the Kindle version on my phone, and I read it when I’m going to bed at night and can’t fall asleep because I’m thinking about all of the stressful things going on in my life right now. (Instead of spending that time browsing Facebook and Pinterest like I used to.)
It makes my mind pause and push those awful thoughts to the back burner, and focuses on my marriage and the love and respect I want it to have.
I also read this when I wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. (Reading puts me to sleep if you haven’t gathered this already.)
My Marriage Depends On It
So although I can’t stand to read, I knew this was a book that I had to read and I had to find a way that I would. I hope if you decide to read this too, that you find a way that works best for you. Whether it be a hard copy, an audio version, or a digital version like me… please know that I truly feel my marriage depended on this, in this moment in life, and I’m so thankful already for the first few chapters of this book. It’s not a cure-all, and we won’t all have a perfect marriage because of this book. But after reading this, I’m able to say to myself… “I truly believe I’m doing everything I know how to do in this moment, to make my marriage better than it is.”
Gag. He Needs to EARN My Respect!
If you even have the SLIGHTEST feeling that you may not be respecting your husband like you could… give this book a read. If you find yourself saying, “Oh Jessica, gag. When he starts earning my respect, I’ll give it to him.” Know that I was/am still a bit there. But I’ve also learned that, that kind of attitude isn’t doing anyone any good. Including myself, my kids, or my husband.
Is It You?
I woke up at 4:50 this morning, with this heavy on my mind so I jumped out of bed to share this with you all. I don’t know if that’s because someone needed to hear it, or I posted it just to acknowledge it myself… but either way, I hope it helps someone today.
You can snag the book on Amazon here:
Love and Respect
(That’s my affiliate link, which means I could make like 20 cents if you use it. So don’t think I’m referring this book to you to get rich. I truly am referring this book to you to enhance your marriage/life, and I love using my affiliate links to track and see if any of you are interested in books/reading. Feel free to type in “Love and Respect” in to your Amazon search bar if you don’t want to use my referral link.)
What Others Have Told Me About this Book…
In our Creating Your Happy group (more on that below), other’s have read this book and this is what some of them have said about it:
Savanna:
“My husband and I actually went through the Love and Respect class….twice….PRE marriage. We still regularly remind each other to “speak pink/blue”. It’s difficult to do at times, for SURE…. but as you said… HOLY MOLY the results are a much happier marriage!”
Dottie:
“Read it yrs ago and it absolutely hit home. I think I’ll pick it up again for a refresher!”
The Fab Society Facebook Group
I’d love to hear from you below if you have anything you want to share! Even if you just want to join my “I suck(ed) at respecting my husband for years,” club, so I know I’m not alone. 🙂
“The Fab Society” is a sister of the life + style blog, Fantabulosity.com, a place where we encourage women to find their passions in life, and overall happiness. Watch some of our recent Creating Your Happy videos on topics like marriage, finance, parenting and so much more, like this one here:
As a mom, wife, sister, friend, employee, boss, and whatever else society calls you… we sometimes need to be reminded what it is that makes us happy, so we can fulfill our duties with the best intentions and that way we choose and want.
DISCLAIMER from the owner/founder: “I fail each day, trying to be the “best,” mom, wife, sister, and friend. But if I can be intentional & recognize one LITTLE thing that I accomplished that day… I can be “happy,” with that, and should celebrate it.”
Please feel free to post in our group any celebrations (big or small) that you’d like for us to celebrate with you. Sometimes seeing it on “paper” can help us acknowledge and appreciate it even more. XOXO
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Fiona says
I read L and R when it was first published. There were many things which didn’t sit right with me and it ended up in the trash (I didn’t even want to pass it on). Since then, I’ve learnt that following its advice has made matters worse for many women. I cannot recommend this book, my advice is to stay well away from it.