How to Respect Your Husband & How it May Save a Marriage

How to Respect Your Husband & How it May Save a Marriage

You May Also Love This Marriage Talk:

• 29 Tips on How to Be a Good Wife
• Affection in my Marriage: My Husband Isn’t Affectionate Anymore
• 5 Simple Ways to Make Your Husband Want to Come Home

What Others Have Told Me About this Book…

“My husband and I actually went through the Love and Respect class….twice….PRE marriage. We still regularly remind each other to “speak pink/blue”. It’s difficult to do at times, for SURE…. but as you said… HOLY MOLY the results are a much happier marriage!”

“Read it yrs ago and it absolutely hit home. I think I’ll pick it up again for a refresher!”

The Fab Society Facebook Group 

I’d love to hear from you below if you have anything you want to share! Even if you just want to join my “I suck(ed) at respecting my husband for years,” club, so I know I’m not alone. 🙂

“The Fab Society” is a sister of the life + style blog, Fantabulosity.com, a place where we encourage women to find their passions in life, and overall happiness. Watch some of our recent Creating Your Happy videos on topics like marriage, finance, parenting and so much more, like this one here:

As a mom, wife, sister, friend, employee, boss, and whatever else society calls you… we sometimes need to be reminded what it is that makes us happy, so we can fulfill our duties with the best intentions and that way we choose and want.

DISCLAIMER from the owner/founder: “I fail each day, trying to be the “best,” mom, wife, sister, and friend. But if I can be intentional & recognize one LITTLE thing that I accomplished that day… I can be “happy,” with that, and should celebrate it.”

Please feel free to post in our group any celebrations (big or small) that you’d like for us to celebrate with you. Sometimes seeing it on “paper” can help us acknowledge and appreciate it even more. XOXO

Join Now for FREE!

I Took YouTube Away from my Kids for a Week, and This is What Happened. This isn’t another post on limiting screen time, or I’m a Better Than You Post…

In the event that this post gets shared on social media, I want to be completely up front with those of you who are visiting my blog for the first time. I write from passion, heart, and experience. I’m not a perfect mom. I’m not a perfect writer, and I’m sure as heck not a child psychologist. But I do speak from the heart, and adore sharing what I love and am passionate about. My children are by far one of those things that I’m passionate about, so here I go…

I Took YouTube Away from my Kids for a Week, and This is What Happened

Don’t worry, this isn’t a blog post about “spend more time with your children,” and how you should get on the “limit electronic time” train.

And I’m also not saying avoid electronics. It’s inevitable. It’s where the world is going. I’m an advocate for online presence and we use it daily in our home.

I’m not saying avoid YouTube. Heck, I have a YouTube channel and MY KID even has a YouTube channel. So don’t hear what I’m not saying…

We can’t avoid YouTube. We can’t avoid electronics. But when our children are just that—children—and they are unable to make rational decisions on their own while their tiny little brains are still forming and learning… it’s time we get in touch with what we want influencing our children.

The Free Babysitter

Truly, I put YouTube in front of my kids (ages 6 and 3) at times as a babysitter. It’s amazing. I’m able to clean the house, attend a quick meeting, make dinner, get some work done with little interruption. Yet, when I take it away, the iPad goes dead, or we forget it for a long car ride, the “gimmies” make an appearance. The whining amplifies. The ungratefulness soars.

So I began to notice where the gimmies started rising to the surface on a high level. I began to watch, observe, take notes and become aware of when the bratty attitude started showing more.

Friends, it was when my 6 year old had control of what he could pick and watch on YouTube (and yes, even YouTube Kids).

I took YouTube away from them for a week, and the difference in behavior was incredible. Respect started showing back up, the gimmies weren’t as plentiful, and the whining subsided. Not kidding. Coincidence? Maybe. But maybe not.

Kids on YouTube

SOME kids on YouTube are the stars of the show. They talk back to parents, get what they want by whining and complaining, and the parents let it happen. Why? Because (are you ready for this?) it sells.  (YES. If you did not know that YouTube makes money for some of these people on YouTube… you know now.)

They know exactly what they’re doing by giving kids what they want to watch. Kids at a young age are learning independence, seeing what they can get away with. So watching a young boy or girl on TV gain that independence by telling mommy “Meh, I don’t want that, I want this and I’m getting it,” is our child’s preferred behavior and they thrive on seeing someone like them get what they want.

• Endless amounts of toys

• “I want to go to McDonalds” OK!

• “I don’t want to Mommy!” — Ok sweetie. It’s your show. Whatever you want.

Impressionable Actions

You Can’t Avoid the Influence in Life

Our young children are so impressionable, and they learn by seeing. They learn by action. When they spend so much time watching a young kid on TV mouth back to his/her parents, whine, complain, get all of these fabulous toys… what do you think our children are soaking in and learning?

I could have 50 talks with my boys every single day about important roles in life, and about topics that I think will influence them in a good way. But when they see someone their age getting whatever they want by acting an absurd way on their favorite YouTube channel, over and over and over again (because let’s face it: our kids watch the same videos over and over again, yes!?), you might as well throw everything I said to them away.

“Alright Then, So What Should They Watch?”

“Okay then Jessica, what should they watch? Or should they not watch it at all?”

Well that’s up to you. The parent. The adult. The decision maker of the household.

If  you love the ease and convenience of YouTube, then maybe consider what show/channel you want influencing your child. Is it the Berenstein Bears? A kid who is amazing at science and does science experiments? Bible stories? Is it videos to prep him/her for the next school year?

It’s up to you. This isn’t a “I’m a better mom than you are blog post,” that tells you what you should do.

If you like the ease and convenience of YouTube and how it holds the attention span of your kiddo… fabulous. But maybe consider what they’re watching, and consider how whatever they’re watching is influencing and teaching our kids how to live and learn.

For me, I’ll continue to let them watch YouTube. I’ll just be more selective of what they watch. After our YouTube break last week, this week I reintroduced it and let them watch videos on kindergarten lessons. After a quick “Mom, this will be boring,” they were soon sharing their excitement for how they learned to add and subtract! Bonus!

Let the “Perfect” Parents Shine…

Now, some will argue this and say:

“Well it’s all in the parenting. We can’t avoid this stuff, and it’s up to us as parents to teach what’s right and wrong.”

Yep, I agree with you 100%. But why can’t we at least tackle some of what we know may be causing some of the non-preferred behavior upfront, instead of going back to try and erase it later? I’m a huge fan of using the term “baby steps.” We don’t have to conquer the world all at once, or find one major life changing tactic that will turn our children into perfect adults. But we can do baby steps, and small bits along the way to improve aspects in our lives. So why not start with something small, and with what we know causes behavior that we’d rather not see?

There may also be parents that comment below saying: 

“I knew this. I NEVER let my child choose what they want to watch on YouTube.”

…and yatta yatta yatta. Well that’s because some parents like to hear themselves say they’re doing a good job, and that they knew something before me. Well, if that’s true, yes… you realized something before me. And YES, you are doing a good job. How do I know? Because you saw a blog post about children and you came over to read it. You care for your children and want what’s best for them. That’s a good job as a parent, right?

I’m only sharing what I have experienced in my own home, and if we really want our children to grow in to something amazing (although we can’t control them, and we are certainly not perfect parents), I think it’s time we get in tune with our children and focus on who/what is teaching/influencing them how life works.

Affordable + Adorable Swim Suit Finds – Zaful Review: I took a chance on this online store, and so glad that I did! Cheap and cute swimsuits! 

We’ve all seen it. The ad that pops up in our Facebook newsfeed, showing us the super affordable swimsuits at Zaful. I even found myself saying

Ok this is way too good to be true. Seriously, $12-$13 for a swimsuit?

So when I couldn’t resist anymore, I asked you all on Facebook what you thought. Some of you said “RUN!” While others said, “Well, check out ‘so-in-so’s’ review on YouTube. She kind of liked them…”

So I was STILL torn. Then, I decided that $12-$13 for a swimsuit was totally worth the risk, so I took a chance. I put two suits in my shopping cart and crossed my fingers…

Affordable + Adorable Swim Suit Finds – Zaful Review

First, I never thought in a million years I’d get the nerve to do a photo AND video review of me wearing a swim suit in front of so many people. But let me tell you… when I find something good, cute, and affordable… I’m not about to keep that from you. So I’ll risk showing you my mom-bod. Just please be nice!

Zaful Good or Bad?

Friends, please don’t hear what I’m not saying. You may end up ordering something from Zaful and have a horrible experience. But this being my first time ordering from them, I am totally pleased. It took maybe a week and a half to get my two suits, and when they arrived… they fit.

Now, I did pay attention to the reviews of each one, to see if I should order “up.” I did order a large in both suits, and I’m thrilled that I did. They fit perfectly! (I’m 5’4, 140 lbs and a 34 DD or 32DDD – according to Victoria Secret.)

Photos and Links Below to Each Swimming Suit…

Off The Shoulder Flounced One-Piece Swimming Suit

I think I love this one the most. It has a bit of ruffle (we all know from my Trunk Club’s how much I love ruffles, yes?) and I swear… when I wore it this week swimming, it literally felt like it sucked some of my stomach in. Hello bonus!

This also comes in other SUPER cute colors, like an army green, white, bright yellow and a pastel pink! So so cute! I would like one in every color!

Buy this Off-the-Shoulder Suit HERE!

Buy my Favorite Sun Hat HERE!

The image shows straps that come with it, and I’ll be totally honest: I forgot that it came with straps and have no clue what I even did with them. The suit fit great without them and stayed up on me just fine while swimming!

Cut Out High Leg Scalloped Swimming Suit

I love this suit a ton for the price too! My belly and back (ahem, flab) does tend to stick out the front and back a bit when I don’t stay on top of adjusting it… but it’s totally wearable and doable.

I love the scalloped look to the bust, so so much! This one also comes in more colors, like an adorable baby blue that I’m DYING to get!

Buy this Scalloped Swimming Suit HERE!

Thank you SO much for coming by to see what I thought about Zaful. If you choose to buy from them, I hope you have a good experience like I did! I’d love to hear about your experience too, to help others out! Just comment below!

Finding Your Purpose in Life – Have you ever felt like something is “missing” in life, even if you feel like you shouldn’t? The guilt of feeling like something is missing, yet having so much to be thankful for, is a real struggle with so many women!

I love today’s topic so much. As women, sometimes we feel like there has to be “more,” but we have a mental conflict of guilt. You may find yourself saying…

“Why should there be more? I have a great marriage, wonderful kids, and a great life. But why do I feel like something is missing?”

For some, they may say

“I want more children to take care of and love on. That’s my purpose. “

Or

“I’m the CEO of corporate America, helping provide jobs for others and making a difference in the world.”

Or you may find yourself confused and stuck, like today’s reader that I’m getting ready to share with you:

“I feel at a loss and without much of a purpose throughout the day … Don’t get me wrong I love being a stay at home wife, it has been one of my dreams since I was little.”

Joy is essential in life, and we feel that purpose and joy can go hand-in-hand. Well let’s explore this a bit more, shall we?

Finding Your Purpose in Life

I had someone reach out to me on Fantabulosity’s Facebook page the other day, (Have I told you how much I LOVE getting messages from you all!? It literally lights me up.) sharing her story and asking if I could help. So I sat my butt down on the couch, grabbed my coffee and got all warm and cozy, and ready to help this gal figure something out! Here’s what she said:

Fantabulosity Reader:

Hey Jessica, I accidentally discovered your blog, and fell in love with it and you almost instantly. I read some of your posts and the watched some of your videos, and you’ve inspired me to follow my passions! But I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

I’m newly married, barely 3 months. My husband works for an oil field, and is gone a lot. I’m not working outside of the home, and so I’m home a lot. I live basically in the middle of no where lol.

Don’t get me wrong I love being a stay at home wife, it has been one of my dreams since I was little. Before the wedding, I had been working almost continuously since my 2nd year of high school therefore I had no time for what I was truly passionate about.
Now I have the time, but I’m also struggling with the thought, I’m not doing enough, if that makes sense. I’ve been thinking about starting a blog, as soon as we get internet installed in our house.

Despite having the time to do all the things I love to do, I feel at a loss and without much of a purpose throughout the day, until my husband comes home late at night…I hope I’m making some sense. Anyways I was wondering if maybe you had some pointers or thoughts on the situation…I guess I’m just feeling very stuck. I’m willing to hear whatever you want to throw at me! Thank you for your time!

So Relatable Right?

Hallelujah we’re not alone in the feeling this way…

Oh how there’s so much goodness in the message that she sent. Do I have the all of the answers? Absolutely not. But I do love how I’m given the opportunity to help someone brainstorm and possibly find something that will help improve their life in some way.

THIS… this is the reason why I love to blog so much. It has given me a platform to have a million “girlfriends” to sit and chat about different ways to better ourselves and find out what our passions in life are… and I get to share things like this with all of you, in hopes it helps you too! (Especially when things are tough – read “I’m Sorry I’ve Gone Missing.”

Ok ok, so let’s get on to my response to her message.

I’ve Been There and Here’s What I Told Her:

Hi there! First, I’m SO happy that you found your way “here” and second, I’m so happy that you’ve messaged me about this!

I feel honored that you took the time to write me, and share your story with me about this.
Now, it TOTALLY makes sense, and I get where you’re coming from 100%. I was you.
I got married, and since we live in a small town, I suddenly became “Matt’s Wife.” I was good with that. He was a good man, I wanted to be a supportive wife, and I truly thought that I would be “ok” with being in his shadow for the rest of my life. Until I wasn’t.
But it wasn’t like I woke up one day and said “Hmm. I don’t have a purpose.” But it was a slow, unconscious realization over a period of time that I started to feel like I wanted something of my own. (Especially after having my babies.)

I think a lot of women go through this very thing, and we even start to feel guilty about it at times. Like “Why should I need more? I have a man that I love, children to raise and take care of, a home to live in and maintain, etc. etc.”
But I truly believe that each of us need that “something” in life that makes us feel alive and makes us feel like we have a purpose. Something that makes us get excited to hop out of bed in the morning. Something that we’re proud of to talk about with friends, family and STRANGERS!
I believe that every time we talk about something that we love, we get a boost of confidence, which does wonders for our mental health.

So… with that said, I hope by reading that, you know you’re not alone, and I hope you don’t feel guilty for feeling that there could be “more” or something out there that can give you the feeling of purpose.

We can be loving, supportive and wonderful wives AND still have something else in our lives that gives us the feeling of purpose/happiness.

So what is that for you? Could it be a blog? You bet! Could it be running a small Etsy business, selling things that you make at home? Sure!

Could it be buying books at yard sales and selling them on eBay?
Taking a photography class?
Or things that you can even do living in the middle of nowhere…
(without internet) painting, gardening (flower gardens or a veggie garden), tutoring young girls and become someone that they can trust and confide in during this crazy time that we live in, or even helping out at church, decorating for each weekend service!

Now those are all just random thoughts that I had… with some that could possibly turn in to a business, and some that are completely voluntary, but could also help you feel like you have a purpose in life.

You may find that you do a few things that you’d think you’d like, and not like doing any of them. I did this. I volunteered at certain events, tried shopping/reselling items on eBay to help contribute financially, etc. and they just weren’t for me.
But then I found the one thing that was for me, BLOGGING/helping others in different areas in life, and that was it. It was my passion and my purpose.

But it’s all about working through and finding what it is for YOU, that you were born to do. Sometimes it takes a little trial and error to figure out what that is, but you know what… it’s part of the journey.

I hope that helps, and feel free to kick any ideas my way. I’d love to help if I can!! It’s fun to brainstorm and help others find a direction in life! XOXO

Side Note:

Normally for a blog post, I edit and make it as pretty as I can… but I decided to skip that part this time. Why? Because I wanted the realness to overflow from our Facebook messenger, over to you. Sometimes if we focus on the “pretty” and “correct” it can really take away from the message. So excuse typo’s and run-on sentences in this one please!

I’ve received so many messages like this one, and if you can relate to her, I really hope that you find some inspiration, and encouragement to tackle whatever it is that is calling you, after taking a peek in to my Facebook inbox.

You May Also Love:

If you loved this post, I wanted to make sure you knew about a book my friend wrote, that you can get on Amazon TODAY! It’s called Holistic Wealth: 32 Life Lessons to Help You Find Purpose, Prosperity, and Happiness and I think it’s a great asset to help you in your journey!

Not Sure What Your Purpose Is Yet?

You know what, that’s ok! I find myself having conversations with other moms when their kids are exploring what to major in when going to college. But who says we have to know for college, as a mom, an older adult, a specific thing, by a certain time? No one.

Know that you’re not alone, and I feel like it’s important to keep our minds and eyes open for those signs that it may be right in front of us.

Thank you so much for coming by! If you’d like to hang around a bit, head over to my self work archives to find more content like this, or watch a few of the videos where I discuss important topics on how to find more happiness in your life!

This post was sponsored by Playtex® Simply Gentle Glide™. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Purse Organization: How to Organize the Inside of your Handbag – Keeping related items in one spot, in a designated pouch can help you say “goodbye” to purse digging!

Purse Organization

Oh how excited I am to finally be sharing with you, my purse organization strategy.

As you know, when it comes to organizing, I owe all of my natural organizing “skillz” to my momma. She is a genius when it comes to making sure that everything has a “home,” and growing up seeing that… I’ve developed SOME of the same tendencies when it comes to organization.

How to Organize the Inside of your Handbag

What I’m sharing today isn’t a certain organization product that you have to purchase at the store, but rather a system that you can implement and create in your own handbag, for exactly what YOU need!

The purse I decided to use today for this tutorial is a larger handbag, without dividers, because I feel that these are a major culprit of where things tend to disappear into the big black “hole.”

1. Health + Beauty Pouch

I start organizing by categorizing the items in my purse, and since my health and beauty items tend to take up most of the space, I start organizing these.

Using a small makeup bag, I place items in it like:

• Playtex^® Simply Gentle Glide^™ Tampons
• Mirror
• Nail Kit
• Lotion
• Facial Tissues
• Lip Gloss
• Hair Tie + Hair Pins
• Pain Reliever
• Hand Sanitizer

I also include a smaller pouch that includes teeny tiny beauty “emergency” items like:

• Deodorant Wipes
• Needle + Thread
• Fingernail File
• Mouthwash
• Fabric Tape
• Lip Balm

Then, I just slip the little pouch into the makeup bag, and it’s all contained in one spot! No more digging and fumbling around looking for what you need, when you need it.

2. Kid Zone

If you’re not a mom then this may not pertain to you… but I’m going to go out on a limb and say you can use this idea for your own stationery needs though too.

I’d much rather have any items that my kids may want or need while out in public, all in one spot. Usually, when they want or ask for something out of my purse, it’s because we need it in a hurry.

You know what I’m talking about. The moments in the store when you just want to get grocery shopping done and they’re so over sitting in the cart, or when you’re out to dinner with friends and they’re getting antsy?

It’s like you can’t get something out fast enough to hopefully entertain them so you can finish.

This pouch (which is typically another small makeup bag, or a pencil bag will work) is where I keep things like colored pencils, small notepads, and small little toys. Then, when I need to grab something for them, I can easily grab this bag and everything I need for them is right there, super handy.

3. Convenience Pocket

You know what pocket I’m talking about… the one that almost every.single.purse has. Friends, don’t fall in to the trap of slipping everything into this pocket.

Save this little handy feature for ONLY the items that you need to access often. Things like:

• Keys
• Phone
• Sunglasses
• Pen
• Gum

It may be hard at first to get used to placing those items in to that pocket only, but after a while, it will become second nature to slip your keys and other important items in that handy spot.

What a world of peace you have when you actually find something that you need quickly.

File Them In

After the small items are organized into bigger items, it’s time to start placing them inside your purse.

During this, I don’t so much worry about where things go, because this part typically moves around quite a bit and that’s not a big deal when the pouches are big enough to see and grab when needed.

TIP: Now although it doesn’t really matter how and where you place your items in to your purse, I DO typically try and place the biggest item in first if I have more of a narrow handbag, so I’m not having to pull big things out to find the smaller items.

My Purse Contents:

In my bag, you’ll find my makeup bag and wallet, and kid zone bag…

…then depending on the handbag, if I have room for my planner, that is DEFINITELY going with me. Odds are, when I don’t have it on me, I need it.

In this specific handbag, I love how I also have room for a bottle of water to take along.

Not Pictured:

I do also keep my son’s emergency epilepsy medicine in the right-hand side, of this purse, which comes in a large plastic box… but I knew that this doesn’t apply to a lot of you, so I purposely left it out.

Although, I still have room for that on the other end of my purse! So if you have things like epi-pens, or other medical items to carry around with you, then you can totally relate! If it’s smaller medicine, then keeping it in the health and beauty pouch would work perfectly for this!

When you need something in a hurry, especially a medical emergency, what a life-saver (literally) having it all organized, can be. Right?

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell, keep it simple, use what you have on hand and your purse can quickly be something that’s no longer a black hole where things disappear.

So as you can see, you don’t need a lot of extras or a big fancy organization system for your purse. In today’s world, sometimes there’s just too much extra! Just like when it comes to your tampons, you want them to work with the things you need – comfort, protection, and none of the “extra” bells and whistles you don’t.

What Did I Miss?

What do you keep in your purse? I’d love to hear. Did I forget anything? Let me know in the comments below, and share this post with your friends to help them snag some purse organization sanity too!

How my Faith is a Necessity with Social Media: If you allow it, the online world can diminish your thoughts on self worth and value in minutes. Let’s get in to your faith toolkit, and help you overcome these tough roadblocks in today’s world.

How my Faith is a Necessity with Social Media

Have you ever fallen victim to a social media “crap-storm”? I can tell you from experience that being on the receiving end is not fun, but maybe not for the reasons you might guess.

Now, before you go thinking that this is a rant about how unfair the world is, I’m a big girl, and I know what I signed up for as a blogger, and I fully understand that the negativity on social media comes with the territory, but I’m often left scratching my head at the extent to which some people will go to get your attention.

Faith First

So, let me tell you how my faith fits into all of this. I have a choice in how I respond to the negative things that people say, and to be honest, sometimes it’s not easy to hold my tongue. It takes a lot to not type exactly what I’m thinking, but I understand  that when I respond in a negative way, it’s a reflection on me, and that’s not a side I want to give to my community. I’ve learned that instead of focusing on the hurtful comment,  it’s much better to divert my attention to something more positive.

One of my morning rituals is to visit SandersWeb for inspiration. During one of those social media storms, I found myself on the site praying for a random Bible verse to show up and get my mind in a better place.

Then, this popped up on my computer screen…

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10

Well crap. Thank you, Jesus. It was like a virtual slap in the face that morning, and EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Now although it didn’t last… and I have to keep returning back to this verse from time to time, it still hits home when I need it to.

My Faith Toolkit

To be prepared when the enemy is trying to drag me down, I have my very own “faith toolkit” full of reminders to keep me from wallowing in a dark pit.

Having a faith toolkit keeps me centered and grounded, especially in those times when the dark side of social media tries to step in and take control of my thoughts and how I feel about myself. Not only have I included verses like Galatians 1:10 above, but I have other tools sitting there, well-sharpened, and ready for me to use.

A Few Faith Tools I Use:

•  I reach in and recall stories and my own experiences and examples of how God has shown up in my life in the past, and rescued me from “man”. Remembering those times is a reality check, and a beautiful reminder that God is there.
•  I reach out to God-fearing friends who are faithful, and there when I need them. Even if all I have to send is a simple text of “Please pray for me today.” Trust me, asking for help is a HARD one for me. But push through… the love you can receive far outranks the vulnerability.
•  I look for the GOOD on social media. I’ll head to a Facebook group, an Instagram feed, or even Pinterest for uplifting, faith-based encouragement to get back on the faith-train.

Even only utilizing these three tools, I’m usually back on the up & up during a tough day online.

So Why Not Just Say “Good-Bye” to Social Media?

So you may be asking me:

Jessica, if social media is that “bad” then why don’t you just get off of it, and cancel your accounts?

Yep. Totally get that question, and that seems like the easiest way, right? But, then I’d miss out on all of the wonderful things my friends are sharing and the amazing experiences of those I follow. This is the positive side of social media that I love.

Plus, I understand that no matter what “platform” is used, there will always be someone out there trying to use it to hurt others. Whether it’s social media, a hard copy newspaper article or a stranger on the side of the road holding up a sign bashing someone, they’ll find a way to do it.

Preparation is key. As long as my faith toolkit is filled, and the tools are sharpened, I can handle whatever life throws at me, and however it’s thrown at me.

Just a Couple of “Hmm’s” to Think About

Friends, as I share all of this with you… please know this is from my heart, and that I’m not a perfect person. I’m totally guilty of judging others, just as we all have, and have even been guilty of looking at my friend next to me, and saying “Oh my gosh, did you see that on Facebook about her?”

So know that I’m imperfect, and I write this to you… just as I’m saying it to myself too.

Now that the too-tight social media shoe’s been on the other foot, here are a couple of thoughts I think about when I find myself on social media, reading that viral post about someone and tempted to cast my opinion (maybe these will help you, too.)

Are You a Silent Troll?

• Are you sure you’re not sharing or tagging someone in something on social media that could contribute to the hurt of someone else?

As an online media gal, I’ve learned some of the ins and outs of social media over the years, and realize that some may not fully grasp how viral some things can get, by innocently tagging a friend in the comments to read it, sharing, commenting with even just an emoji, or even “liking” a post that someone else has created.

When a post gets likes, shares, a tag and/or comments, the social media platform will see that as a popular post, so it will get “pushed out” to social media even more. In which, can then manifest in to more and more hurt for someone out there in the online world, if the post relates to them in some way.

Or NOT Silent? Well Please Just Remember This.

• Even if you agree with a hateful post that someone created, wish badly for someone, OR… even create that hateful status update yourself … there is someone out there that hasn’t done anything to you.

These types of posts and comments could be indirectly hurting them, (their child, spouse, mother, sister, brother, etc.) by spreading hate in the online world. When it’s not happening to you, it’s easy to feel that your actions are justified, but what if it were you or your family member?

Which brings me to something else…

The Online World: A Real Person?

• Because the online world is a virtual one, it’s easy to forget that there’s a real person on the other side of the screen.

Online it’s easy to feel that it’s just us with our laptops. We have a right to our opinion, right? What’s the harm in adding our two or three cents to the growing comment section? Before we know it, we easily slip in to the mindset that what we see/read/hear online, doesn’t involve REAL human beings. Suddenly, we’re pushing compassion aside and saying and doing what feels good at the moment without considering someone’s feelings. Words have power, even if they’re just on a screen.

Sure, we may convince ourselves by saying…

“Well, I just want to share it to protect others by letting “everyone” know.”

I’m sure that’s true in some cases, but is it really the reason we’re sharing it? Or is that just what we tell ourselves, to justify feeding on the negative?

I also truly believe that if you take at least HALF of the people that leave awful comments and status updates on social media about someone, and sat them down in front of the person they were “confronting”, that they’d either hesitate, change their mind, or change up their words in a less-hurtful manner.

The Real Story

Man alive. This. This is so huge.

A joke I often say is

Well I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true, right!?

Then we giggle, and move on with our conversation. But the truth is, anyone can get online and write just about anything they want, whether it’s true or not. Heck, even a newspaper can write something in just a way that makes it sound like something it isn’t.

Taking a second to consider that there could be a deeper story associated with what we’re reading and that we may not know all of the details, gives us a second to reconsider our reaction and take a step back before telling the world how we feel. Despite what we see, there could always be more to the story.

Final Thoughts…

I’m sure it’s far-fetched to say that “everyone” has been attacked, or trolled on social media at some point in their life; however, the reality is, that everyone has, in some degree, been the victim of some sort of hurtful comment or act that someone has created on a social network. (Whether it was towards them, or even towards someone that they care about.)

It’s the world we live in currently. Everyone can have a platform created in minutes to try and ruin someone’s day, or even life, and if you allow it to… your self-worth and value can be diminished, in a second flat, after reading it.

Mindfulness will go a long way toward curbing some of the negative behavior online. Until that happens, I’ll keep using my faith toolkit to get me through.

Need your own Faith toolkit?

I’m sharing my faith toolkit with you. It’s full of my favorite Bible verses and resources. I hope it comes in handy when you’re looking for peace and comfort, during your own “life storm”.

Download it the Faith Toolkit, or by clicking the image below!

I’m so glad that you came by. I adore having conversations like this with you all, and tend to get deeper in conversation and share more real-life experiences in my love notes that I send out to inboxes every once in a while. To get on that list, just head over and subscribe, and I’ll be in your inbox shortly!